Somewhere in the Middle
by SomewhereInWonderland
Summary: SEQUEL to Since the Beginning: After Ranger returns from his assignment more has changed than he can control. Stephanie has once again been attacked, but there are things about this attack that in order for Ranger to protect her he will have to to visit the darkest secret he has. Before he loses Stephanie for ever...
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:** Well ladies…. Welcome to the sequel! Sorry to keep you waiting so long! This last couple weeks of school has been brutal and I wanted to work on my other FF story, _There Forever_, For the Cupcakes since I gave the HEA in _Since the Beginning_ to Ranger and Steph. So anyways- here we are! Please please tell me what you think… and I certainly hope this chapter proves to be worth the wait!

**Disclaimer: JE's characters- My version.**

**OoooOoooOoooOoooO**

**Ranger POV:**

It had been 10 long months since I had been home and the first thing I wanted to do was see my babe. This wasn't my first government assignment and certainly not the longest, but every day I was away from Stephanie felt like a lifetime was passing me by. While I was away my only contact to her was through Tank, my right hand man, I wanted more than anything to talk to Stephanie but I couldn't. Sure I faced danger every day doing what I do at RangeMan- but an assignment was different- I couldn't lose focus or change mentality. Most of the times that was never an issue seeing as my attitude was consistently that of a ranger. With Steph though it was different- she brought out a completely different side of me, and while I loved it- I knew the distraction talking to her could cause me to make a mistake that would keep me from never returning to her. After my return and closing up all ends of the mission and being officially released from my mission I had only one destination in mind.

But when I reached the outside of the building my meeting was held in and saw Tank with a look on his face that looked far more serious than usual- I knew we would be sidetracked.

"Here to give me a ride?" The stress lines around his eyes tightened as did his arms that were crossed over his chest.

Tank shook his head, no longer looking at my face as he spoke. "We need to talk."

"Later, I have somewhere I need to be right now."

"This won't wait." I wanted to listen to what he was saying and reclaim the duties I had left him in charge of, but this was no ordinary circumstance. I was so close to Stephanie and there was nothing that was going to keep me from going to her.

"Well it's going to have to." My arms crossed over my chest, mirroring his stance and slowly the stern expression changed into one that told there was more to the reason was keeping me from her.

"It's about, Stephanie." I could feel my hands tighten into fists.

"What happened." It wasn't a question- it was a demand.

"We'll tell you back at RangeMan." Reluctantly my first thoughts shot to Morelli, maybe she changed her mind and in my absence I lost her to the cop. Tank's head shook back and forth, easily reading where my thoughts lingered.

"It's not about him. Just come back to RangeMan so we can fill you in."

"Fine."

The ride to the office was quiet but it wasn't hard to see that Tank was trying really hard to keep a straight face. Something wasn't right, but what worried me most was I had talked to him just about two weeks ago and he made no mention of an issue with Stephanie. My patience was quickly wearing out- what if I was just sitting here unaware of an issue and she was in trouble. Maybe it wasn't the cop- but what if someone else had won her heart. Or worse, what if something terrible had happened to little Aly, this not knowing thing was absolutely killing me. I paid little attention to the familiar roads back to RangeMan it didn't seem much had changed but a persistent gnawing at the pit of my stomach told me _everything_ had changed.

We pulled into the underground lot and filed into the elevator up to the 5th floor. Tank motioned for me to enter my office and without a look at any of the other men working I did. Once I finally found out what was being kept from me I was going to make his life hell. My patience over all was pretty good but when it came to anything Stephanie related, I needed to know- _immediately_. I sat down at the large black chair behind my desk and stared at the door as Lester entered and shut it behind him. Even Lester's usually smart ass exterior was gone while both stood staring at me.

"If one of you doesn't say something soon I will whip this desk across the room at you." The rage I had been trying to maintain so far was threatening to reach a level I wasn't going to be able to come back from.

Santos finally spoke up. "Well about a month ago there was an attack."

"On Stephanie." Tank added, as if my mind suddenly couldn't put shit together on my own.

"Where was she attacked?"

"Her house."

"And the security system we had installed?" Their eyes quickly darted to each other and back at me. That's it- I stood up and slammed my fists on the desk as hard as I could. The noise was sure to make people in the surrounding buildings think a bomb had gone off.

"Don't test my patience right now." I seethed through my teeth. Lester sighed and plopped himself into the chair sitting across from me. Good- at least he was close enough for me to wring his neck if he kept me waiting.

"Alright, one night late I was in the control room just checking in on the guys and suddenly the cameras to Steph's place went out, no one else's. So I immediately called her up and there was no answer and since I was just coming up from the gym I was just in shorts. I ran to my room threw on a shirt and pants and drove to her house when I got there Morelli was just pulling up. My first reaction was he did something but the fear in his face told me something else was wrong. We both ran into her house and it was a disaster scene there was clearly a struggle, the screen door was wide open, and there was a trail of blood leading to the steps. We heard Stephanie crying upstairs and we both drew our guns and ran to her- by then Tank and a few others had shown up and was in the process of searching her house. But she was…" My blood was boiling and I tried to keep everything back as I watched Lester's face shudder. "She looked awful blood everywhere and we couldn't even touch her without her flinching away from us. Ambulance showed up and took her to the ER, there were a few really big deep cuts on her thighs and arms that needed stiches. And well…" Lester gulped back and looked to Tank for him to continue.

"When Santos and Morelli got to her the only clothing she was wearing was a ripped up shirt. I guess they did a test at the hospital but didn't find any semen on her, but he tried."

They were done and I was furious, I turned around and laid a punch directly into the wall behind me. A hole in the shape of my fist was left when I pulled my hand back.

"Why the FUCK didn't you tell me when I called two weeks ago!"

"She asked us not to." Tank's voice was firm, but I knew he was a little shaken by my anger.

"I don't give a fuck! Someone laid their hands on her- I should have been told the **_Goddamn second it happened_**!"

Santos sat up a little higher in his chair. "Steph, didn't want you to be worried and do something that could get you hurt." The chair was annoyingly close to me so I shoved it backward with all my force before reaching out and latching my hands into Lester's shirt and pulling him to his feet.

"How long did it take you to get there from the time the cameras went out."

"25 minutes tops!"

"25 MINUTES! What the hell were you doing!"

"I told you, plus it takes 15 minutes to get to her house."

"You should have made it your first priority to immediately get to her- I don't care if you were wearing a speedo in the middle of winter! You could have stopped this!"

"Since you left there hadn't been any issues before this one. Nothing suspicious what-so-ever, she worked in the office at the department and had no one coming after her."

"So that means our system just happened to flake out on _her_ house- and you fucking mosey around and don't go to her!"

"I did go to her! You don't think I haven't replayed that night in my mind a million times and thought of all the things I could have done differently!"

"Where was my kid!?" The words not only shocked Tank and Lester- but me too. I loved Aly and thought of her as a huge part of my life- but never before had I considered her _my_ kid.

"She was with Steph's parents that night." At least she wasn't there for that, I released Lester's shirt and threw him backwards into his chair.

"Who was this guy?"

Tank stepped forward, apparently this was the tag team part of this conversation. Tank I knew would be working double time to find this out for me.

"We haven't come up with anything yet. We're looking into everyone that has given Stephanie trouble in the past and we're getting nothing."

"What about the issue with the cameras?" Once again their eyes darted between each other and I was seconds from shaking the answer out of Lester once again.

"They were looked at from around the house- there was nothing that was damaged that showed what may have caused it." Just when I thought the rage couldn't get any worse- I was rudely mistaken.

"It was an inside job- someone with access to the control room did this?"

"I've talked to everyone and nothing is adding up to anyone of them that might have done anything to hurt Steph."

"Well I'm not going to just accept that- every single one of them will be talking to me." Tank nodded, I'm sure he expected nothing less from me.

I paced back and forth for a minute behind my desk trying to let my anger subside a little. Finally, I had calmed down (enough) to ask the next set of questions.

"How is she now?" Lester stood up take over these questions.

"She's really bad, I mean she's dealt with a lot of shit in the past but this was different. The first few days after she got home she pretended to be the same Steph, with no problems and no fear. But it wasn't hard to see she was struggling with this, but one night I was leaving Suzanne's at about 10 and decided to check on Steph. I used the spare key you gave me before leaving to get in and when I got in she was sitting on the floor of the kitchen balling her eyes out. I have never seen her so scared, and I thought someone else was there but she told me no one was there but her. Aly I guess was staying with Joe at the time, so we packed up some stuff and she slept in your room on 7."

"It's hers too." I added in before I could stop, and he nodded in understanding before continuing.

"Over the next few days it was like watching someone's life leave the body. The color left her eyes, she hardly slept and was always lost in her own thoughts. She quit her job and we gave her a position here to work on pretty much whatever she can handle. But she is still not right, nothing like how she usually is, and I don't think Aly's been home since the accident. Either Joe has her or Steph's parents, but when she does have her for the night they always sleep upstairs."

"What about the night's that she isn't with Aly?"

"She sits at home but won't sleep, you can see her talking to someone- but no one else is ever there."

It wasn't often I felt completely helpless, until right now. While I was away the greatest tragedy Stephanie had gone through happened, and I wasn't here to protect her. I needed to see her, I couldn't believe she wasn't the same Stephanie- I had to see it for my own eyes.

"Ranger, just so you know when you do go see her- she doesn't want to be asked about what happened. That's why we're telling you now, we all figured you'd go straight to her but she insisted we fill you in on everything before you saw her." Santos said, and I nodded. There was nothing else I could say to either of them, I just knew I couldn't be here.

"I'll be back later- but I want to see every single police report and information about this when I get back."

"Of course." Tank said and both stepped away as I took off out the door. I ran down the steps and sunk behind the wheel of my Porsche 911 Turbo and tore off. But the closer I got to Stephanie's house, the more I realized I couldn't face her- just yet. So I steered the car in a different direction and 10 minutes later I was walking up to Joe Morelli's front door. I pounded on the door and from the inside I could hear Aly talking away and a few seconds later Morelli answered. Now I had seen Morelli look like shit many times; but his facial hair was clearly visible, and bags hung under his eyes. He sighed when he saw me and held up a finger to tell me to wait.

"Baby, you stay here and play with Bob okay?"

"Kay daddy." I heard her reply as he stepped back outside shutting the front door behind him.

"Welcome back." He said with no enthusiasm. "Is this a friendly visit or one that's going to lead to us fighting- cause I have to tell you I am so not in the mood for that right now."

"I just have some questions, I was informed on what happened from my men but before I see her I wanted to talk to you first. Lester said you showed up at the same time he did- what were you doing there?"

"I called Steph to ask her if I could have Aly that weekend, and cause I was bored. I called her cell phone and I heard the phone click on and in the background I heard her screaming and yell _help_ before the phone went dead. I jumped in my car and drove over, I called it in on my way but I got there before the squads and by the time we got there the fucker had fled."

"How has she been?"

"I've never seen anything like it." He ran his hand through his unruly hair, shaking his head. "You can hardly talk to her because her attention is always somewhere else. I've been trying to take Aly as much as possible and her mom still watches her during the day, but it's like she's on a different frequency."

"Alright, did you need to bring Aly home to them tonight?"

"No, I have her tonight."

"Okay, I need to go see her." I started walking back to my car but Joe called out to me.

"One word of advice before you go." I turned to face him. "Don't sneak up on her, I mean make it very well known that it is you there. To say she is jumpier than usual would be a complete understatement."

"Thanks, Morelli." I hopped back in my car and took off once again to her house.

I used my key to unlock the door and even though the place was in order- I still felt like I was looking at the disaster scene Lester had described to me.

"Hey Babe." I yelled out but didn't receive a reply. I heard soft murmurs coming from the bedroom and I couldn't help but run up the stairs. I stopped at the door to the bedroom and sitting on the bench under the bay window was Stephanie, a blanket wrapped over her shoulders. I tapped my knuckles on the door and she turned to face me, a soft partial smile stretched over her lips. There was no way this was my babe- her skin was paler than I had ever seen it before, her eyes looked at me but I didn't know if she could actually see me. It was completely obvious that she hadn't been sleeping and it took everything in me to remain cool and composed.

"Hi Ranger."

Ranger, I couldn't help but hurt. Every moment I was away from her when things seemed unbearable I imagined her saying my name. Family had always called me by my name but hearing her say it was completely different. The way her perfect lips formed the word and the way it rolled off the tip of her tongue. I had wanted more than anything to hear her say it again- but I couldn't ask her to call me Carlos. She had to say it on her own and so I had to remain unphased by being called Ranger again. I slowly walked over to her and as I neared her I watched her body tense up as I put my arms around her. She let me hold her, but it wasn't in a satisfying way that I had hoped for. I looked down at her and it was one of the hardest things I have ever done, to just see her like this.

"I missed you, Steph." Her hand raised to my cheek and slowly stroked the line of my jaw.

"I missed you, too." I moved to sit down next to her on the bench but saw her face tense up.

"Good God will you move!" She screamed out, the pain obvious in her voice. I stared at her and stood back up and she shook her head in response.

"No Ranger, not you." My eyes darted around the room looking for someone else that she could be talking to- but there was no one.

"Will you stay with me in my apartment tonight at RangeMan?" There was something about this house and I didn't know what it was but I got the feeling it was draining the life right out of her and I couldn't just sit by and watch it happen.

"Yeah sure."

"Will you come now?" She shook her head.

"I need to wait a little bit."

"Why?"

She shrugged her shoulders and returned to staring out the bay window into the backyard. I stood there silently watching the reactions on her face change slowly. Her perfect composed face would suddenly tighten, her eyes would roll, she quickly shook her head. Once again I had to look around for someone- it was like she was having a conversation with someone. I didn't know how much longer I could stay here; seeing her this way was absolutely killing me- and I couldn't do anything here to change it.

"I need to run some errands- should I pick you up later?"

"I'll drive myself."

"But you'll come?"

"Yes." I reached down and placed a lingering kiss on her hair, breathing in the intoxicating scent of her hair. When I found out whoever did this to her- I was going to kill him even if that meant spending my life behind bars. There was no way anyone was going to take away the amazing person she was and leave her as this empty shell. I flipped open my phone and dialed Tank's cell.

"Yeah?"

"Steph's coming to RangeMan later- call me when she pulls in."

"Will do." I hung up and took off, hoping to take my anger out on the pavement.

A couple hours later I got a call from Tank telling me Stephanie was just pulling in, and within 10 minutes I was back and on my way up to 7 to see my Babe. When I opened the door I saw her sitting on the couch and even though she still looked pale and exhausted- something seemed a little better. She got to her feet and ran into my arms and without hesitation I wrapped my arms tight around her. We stood still for a minute breathing each other and savoring the moment- I couldn't deny I was afraid that in a moment she was going to recoil the way she did at her house. When she pulled back from me I feared I was losing her but instead she reached up and touched her lips to mine. It was better than I had remembered the feeling of her lips against mine, holding her in my arms- and knowing she was _my_ babe. I wanted to rip off her clothes and take her then and there but I knew nothing yet about where her stitches were and after the trauma she experienced I didn't want to scare her away. She pulled back and I saw a new level of sadness in her eyes, her fingers once again tracing my jaw.

"I am so tired, Ranger." I swept her up into my arms and carried her to my bed, hoping that just by being near her I could be the calm she needed.

**A/N: Wooo… Lots to get out! Hope you enjoyed, you know what to do…. Review : )**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: JE's characters, my version.**

**OoooOoooOoooOoooO**

**Stephanie's POV**

Leaving Ranger on Saturday morning was difficult, however extremely necessary. Not only did I know he had mountains of work to do- I needed to get home. As much as I hated being there, it was crucial. Ranger tried using every excuse to either get me to stay there, or let him come with me but promising to see him later tonight made it easier for him to let me leave. It killed me the way things were- a little over a month ago I would have refused to let him out of my sight for at least a week. But everything changed after the attack and although I knew I had some of the most capable people on the East Coast watching my back- there were things I knew that they didn't.

I have had to repeat the story of what happened time and time again. First to Les and Joe then the cops and investigators, doctors and nurses needed to know, Mandy and Suzanne, Tank and many other people I'm sure I was forgetting. Never at one point did I _want_ to talk about what happened but I had no choice in the matter; but there were two pieces of information that I left out in all the retellings of it. One of them had become a constant burden in my home. My car sat parked in the driveway- a sigh escaped my chest and I wanted nothing more than to just sit in here all day. My home hadn't been the comforting place I so longed for it to be; a place where Aly and I could live and grow- and about 10 seconds after I realized how much I loved Ranger, I wanted nothing more than for it to be his home too. Now I wouldn't let my own daughter into her house and there was only one reason I kept returning.

I knew if I remained in the car Ranger would send out everyone to see why I never made it inside. Which was something I wanted to avoid at all costs, I grabbed my purse and headed inside.

"Finally, you're home! I was bored!" It took all of 5 seconds for the obnoxious voice of my unwanted visitor to appear in front of me.

After the attack while everything was still fresh in my mind and I felt like I was hallucinating- a woman appeared in my home. I freaked out and when I called RangeMan they said no one else was in my house- but me. After many attempts to convince myself I was just seeing things- I realized she wasn't going away. Only I could see her and over the past month there were a couple things I knew about her. One- she was beyond annoying and never gave me any peace and quiet. Two- she was supposedly dead, and according to her tale- hadn't crossed over yet. Three- I really needed to see a psychiatrist because I was definitely losing it; and lastly- she used to be Ranger's woman.

Her name was Desiree and as much I hated to admit it- even as a ghost/spirit-thing she was gorgeous. Not exactly the type of girl I could see Ranger with but then again I was definitely _seeing_ things so I didn't have much of a say in that any more. Long blonde hair a short curvy figure, tiny waist- big chest and a butt that made mine feel very butt-conscious. No matter what I did she wouldn't go away- or as she said it, she _couldn't_ leave my home. I was sure it had something to do with the attack, but I had yet to find a connection.

"Still here I see." I muttered to her walking into the kitchen to grab out a beer.

"I'd kill for one of those." She shot me a wink as she hopped on top of the island in the kitchen. Although her body wasn't see through and 'ghostly' she still didn't have the ability to touch grab or actually mess with anything- _Thank God_.

"Is that supposed to be another one of those, 'dead-girl' jokes, cause it's not funny."

"Oh come on sourpuss, it was a little funny." I took a long swig of my beer and grabbed out another one before walking up to sit at my usual spot under the bay window. The attacker came in through the patio door and this was the best spot to watch for his promised return. I hoped Desiree would find something else to do, but out of the corner of my eye I saw her plop down on my bed.

"Could you be anymore _boring!_ Why don't you invite some strippers over; I may not be able to touch but I sure wouldn't mind that view."

"Yeah, I'll get right on that for ya."

"Better yet- just invite sexy Ranger over tonight. God did he look yummy or what?" My eyes shot to her with the meanest look I could conjure up, but like usual she wasn't fazed by it.

"You know I still don't believe you were with him, he has never mentioned you."

"Well you better believe, and just because he hasn't mentioned me to you doesn't mean he doesn't still think about me."

"That's a lie- he doesn't think about you."

"Why do you think I'm still here?"

"Good question! Why are you still here!?" There was no resemblance between Desiree and I- except for our eyes. Hers were the same piercing shade of blue that mine were and as she rolled them at me; it felt like I was looking at a mirror of myself doing it.

"I don't mean here in your house- I mean _here_ on this planet."

"To annoy me to no end?"

"Don't think so highly of yourself, listen I don't want to be here anymore than you want me. I'm kind of stuck so you need to do whatever it is so I can move on and go back to following around Ricky."

"Ricky?" I asked in disbelief- finally it seemed like her story about being with Ranger was crumbling apart.

"Yes, Ricky. What do you think I've been doing all these years?"

"I thought no one but me could see you."

"Doesn't mean I can't see them, and there is no better view than my Ricky."

"Okay, who the _hell_ is Ricky?"

"Wow, and you claim to be in love with him. I have to admit I am pretty disappointed, just gives me another reason I don't approve of you." I drained the rest of my first beer and took the top off the second. My only response to her question was to start lamely at her. I was used to her talking in riddles and quickly learned it was easier to just wait for her to explain- which unfortunately she always did.

"I'm talking about Ranger."

"His name isn't Ricky."

"Ricardo Carlos Manoso- wanna tell me again his name isn't Ricky?" I stared at her and shook my head taking another swig of beer.

"He doesn't go by Ricky its either Carlos or Ranger."

"Now it is, ever wonder why he doesn't go by his first name?"

"It's a family name." She smiled a wide Cheshire Cat grin and threw back her blonde hair laughing.

"Honey, you are so oblivious to who this man is."

"That is _not_ true. I know him- I know him better than anyone."

"Except for me." I _hated_ this girl- with every fiber in my being why was she sent here to _my house!_

"Then you tell me, Desiree- why doesn't he let anyone call him Ricky?" I stood crossing my arms over my chest staring her down- knowing I probably looked insane over at RangeMan through the camera monitors.

"Because I called him that, and after I died he couldn't stand hearing anyone call him Ricky because they weren't _me_."

"That is bullshit!"

"Call my bluff then, try calling him Ricky- see what he does. And I promise you; you don't know him better than I do." All joking had left her face as the clone to my eyes stared back at me.

"I do know him better."

"Being dead and unseen gave me a lot of time on my hands and every second of every day I was near him. I can tell you where every single scar was, I can tell you about things you would have absolutely no idea about."

"SO what you have been stalking him."

"Don't forget honey, I was with him too and you want to know why I'm still here? Because _he_ hasn't let me go yet, that whole 'unfinished business' things- well its true. Except my unfinished business was because he needed me and the fact that I'm _still_ around after falling in love with you should really tell you something."

I couldn't handle her anymore- she was _lying_- she had to be! I knew him, I was his babe and there was no way he would keep something like this from me. The beer bottle was still about half full so I slammed it down and with all my force I threw it directly at her. Of course being that she was nothing but a ghost it hit the wall behind my bed and shattered everywhere.

"I'm already dead, you can't hurt me!" Her loud obnoxious laugh sent me into a deeper level of rage. This was how my life had been for the last month, she did everything she could to get under my skin- and it very frequently worked. I stomped into the bathroom and slammed my door- realizing she could still get through, but it was more for effect. I sat on the seat of the toilet and buried my hands in my face. The quiet stayed around for less than a minute before Desiree spoke up again.

"Are you really going to leave your post, aren't you on watch duty?"

"Why don't you take a shift and tell me if the attacker is on his way back yet?"

"And why would I do that?" Even without seeing her I could tell her face was disgusted simply with the suggestion alone.

"Well because if this guy succeeds who knows, maybe we will get the chance to spend eternity together as ghosts stalking _Carlos."_ I said with a strong emphasis on his name.

"Good point- well okay _crazy_, I'll take this shift." When she disappeared through the door I flipped on the hot water in the shower and stepped in fully clothed and crouched on the floor. My face was buried once again in my hands and I tried shutting my eyes to drown out the depressing thoughts roaming around.

But the second I did that night came back in flashes. The break-in, being choked, stabbed but nothing was quite as vivid as the final moments of the attack. My body was screaming with pain and my face was still ringing from the punch he laid on me after hanging up the house phone. That was when he grabbed my chin and looked into my swollen eyes and told me he'd come back for me. At first I wanted nothing more than to run but I realized I would only be running from my own nightmares and I couldn't do that. So I put up with the obnoxious Desiree to wait for the return of my nightmares- if I had any chance of a normal life anymore. I wasn't sure how long I had been in the shower turning into a giant prune before Desiree entered the bathroom once again.

"Our boyfriend's here." She said in a sing-song voice that made me wish I had something else to throw at her. Seconds later I heard the bathroom door burst open and the saying "three's a crowd" suddenly echoed through my head.

"Babe, come out of there." He pleaded to me, holding open the door to the shower.

"No." The door shut and I thought he had left but I heard the water shut off and next he lifted me off the floor and held tight onto my upper arms but my hands remained over my face.

"Stephanie, you have to talk to me. What is going on?"

"Man, if only I could turn the water back on- I'd give anything to see that man wet right now." Desiree chimed in, I wanted to scream at her but I refrained.

"Why don't we talk about stuff?" I muttered out. His strong hands pulled back mine and his eyes were staring at me with absolute fear.

"What stuff?"

"You? Why don't we talk about you?"

"I've been away for the last 10 months but now we can talk about anything."

"Call him Ricky!" I glared my eyes at where Desiree was standing but it only made me more angry to see her expression was amused.

"No." I answered her making Ranger look to the empty space where she stood.

"No what?" He asked.

"C'mon Stephanie, you don't believe me. Test it out right here right now! Say it!"

I placed my hands on either side of Ranger's face and looked into his eyes that were filled with intense concern.

"I love you, Ricky." The shudder running through his body was easily visible on his face. His eyes lost contact with mine as he slowly shook his head.

"It's Carlos."

Desiree threw back her head laughing in an "I told you so" kind of way.

"I know what your name is- but your first name is Ricardo, so why can't I call you Ricky?"

"Because I don't let anyone call me Ricky."

"But me." Desiree sang out with pride.

"Why!"

"Drop it, Stephanie."

"Oh yeah, this talking thing is already going really well." I choked back the set of tears and stormed out of the bathroom. I was sure he was following me but I didn't care- I needed to get out and before I knew it I was sprinting across my lawn, sliding behind the wheel and peeling out with no destination in mind.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: **I am sorry for the long wait for an update on this story. As I'm sure many of you know ((and are reading)) I am also working on a couple other FanFiction stories. So I need to do some catching up with this one! A BIG thank you to all those that are still reading and waiting patiently for my updates! Also for those of my readers that enjoy a good Cupcake story and were hoping for a Joe ending; I have a couple treats for you. While I haven't read much of either of these stories; what I have read is wonderful and addicting. They are "After Eighteen" written by **jmts2012**; the other is the "It's About" series ((starting with "It's About Time")) by **BlackhawkCarol**. So check them out if you'd like some more wonderful Fan Fiction stories to read!

**Disclaimer: JE's Characters ((Well most of them now)) – My version!**

**OoooOoooOoooOoooO**

By the time the sun was beginning to set I was still driving around. I didn't know where I wanted to go but I knew the moment I stopped Ranger would show up. Although it wasn't necessary for the guys to track my car down lately; I was under no illusions that the tracking device was no longer on my car. But I needed time to think and wrap my head around things and despite my yearning to return home—I had _no_ intention of spending time with Desiree right now.

And if it wasn't for the need to end the constant nightmare that was now my life; I wouldn't go home at all. Since the attack I have waited for the man's return but this time I wouldn't end up the beaten and bruised victim on the floor. It wasn't the bruises or scars that I cared about; _hell_ I have had more of those than I could even count. It was the fact that this man stole my peace; he stole my daughter's safe home and the ability to rest soundly at night. When my nightmares were tamer than my reality I was a complete wreck. I wasn't quite sure where I was but I was still in Jersey so getting lost wasn't a problem for me. But when I drove past a playground with a set of swings—they were calling to me. It made me think of Aly and just how _terrible _of a mother I have been; my poor little girl didn't know what to think. And I have always longed to be the kind of mother that was strong and someone my daughter could look up to. I decided if Ranger was going to track me down; this was as good a place as any to find me.

Thankfully the car ride was long enough that my clothes were pretty sufficiently dry by now. I hopped on the swing and immediately began pumping my legs and I couldn't even believe how incredible the fresh air felt. The way it beat against my face, and blew through my hair; this was the best type of therapy. I let myself enjoy swinging for a few more minutes before I slowed down to simply moving back and forth by the twitch of my ankle.

When the soft sound of footsteps in the sand came a few minutes later I didn't bother looking up. I assumed it to be one of two people; the attacker, or Ranger. Black boots appeared in front of me and I knew who it was; he lifted my chin up to look into his eyes.

"You have to talk to me, Babe." Ranger looked exhausted and I was sure it had nothing to do with whatever RangeMan work he had to do today; something told me this was all me. I knew I had to talk to him and I knew I could no longer keep some important things from him. But in a situation like this, what am I supposed to do? _Ranger your dead girlfriend has been driving me mental and is somehow linked with the guy that attacked me._ Yeah—I'm not about to dive head-first into _that_ conversation.

"Do you ever get scared?" A single eyebrow rose up; wondering if I was being serious. Once he realized I was he released my chin and moved behind the swing and slowly began pushing me.

"What do you mean?"

"Like when you're on large assignments like you've been on the past 10 months."

"That has been my life; I face many dangerous tasks but it doesn't scare me. Yes, I know I could die at any moment during what I do, but I'm not afraid of it."

"So you don't get scared."

"Not about missions; but there are some things that scare me." Talk about intrigue.

"Like what?"

"When I think of something happening to you or Aly and not being there to protect you; that scares me. The thought that I could die; but my last day wouldn't be spent with you—that scares me. And not being able to protect you from something—like right now." He stopped pushing me on the swing and moved to stand in front of me. Ranger's hands gripped to the chains on either side of me and walked towards me; lifting me in the arm. An unexpected giggle escaped me as he lifted me to his eye level.

"I love you, Stephanie Plum; but right now I want nothing more than to know what is going on with you."

"Can we talk about it a little bit later?" I could see he wanted to fight me on this, but all I wanted right now was him. "Because right now I just want to kiss you."

The amazing smile I had remembered did this one no justice; and following that he pressed his lips to mine. The kiss didn't stay soft and sweet for long; Ranger was the only one that kept me grounded. With him around everything felt okay and right here with our lips moving together; and my hands moving over his strong delicious muscles was exactly where I wanted to be.

"Are you trying to seduce me, Babe?" Ranger asked me with a smirk on his lips. With one hand I stroked the side of his face and then began playing with the hair on the back of his neck.

"Maybe." I smiled back and he moved his arms around my waist and lifted me from the swing. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he walked with me towards the car. Our lips were desperate longing for the feeling of closeness that we have missed for so long. My feet hit the ground when we reached the parking lot and Ranger's body pinned me against the side of his car.

"I can't leave my car here."

"Trust me; your car will be taken care of. Come home with me, babe." I didn't even have to think of what I wanted to do so I nodded. We got into the car and even though Ranger had to do shift changes our hands remained laced together. When we reached a red light or stop sign he would bring our hands to his lips and kiss my fingers. Once in the underground garage we got out and he wrapped his arm around my waist as we walked to the elevator. Even knowing there were cameras in the elevator he still pinned me against the wall and resumed where we left out. The doors opened to the door of the penthouse on 7 and once we made our way inside we reached the release we were both in need of.

**OoooOoooOoooOoooO**

We had spent the last few hours making up for lost time and I had to admit I felt better than I have in the past 10 months. There was a single sheet sitting dangerously low on Ranger's hips while he rested against the pillows; watching me get up. I pulled out one of his T-shirts and pulled it over my head and ran to the kitchen, I pulled out a water bottle and made myself a peanut butter sandwich before returning to the bedroom. Ranger smiled and shook his head at me, I straddled his waist to use his chest as my plate. Because that is one plate I would _gladly_ lick clean. Ranger grabbed the water from me and knocked back a large sip; before setting the cold bottle against my thigh making me shriek from the cold.

His eyes stayed on me as I ate, but his hand moved up and down my side. Once he reached my thigh he stopped as his fingers traced over one of the scars that was created from the night I was attacked.

"Whoever did this to you will pay." He said more to himself then to me.

"Can I ask you something that will probably completely ruin this moment?" Reluctantly he nodded.

"What happened to your ex-girlfriend, Desiree?" Ranger's soft careful expression changed in an instant; moving from shock to disbelief to anger than back to the stoic Ranger he was trained to be. I let him have his few moments of silence to work through his answer in his head.

"How do you know about her?" There was no denial in his tone or expression; and I had the sudden feeling of going up and down on a rollercoaster.

"That doesn't answer my question."

Ranger moved to sit up and since I was straddling his waist he grabbed my arms and shifted me off him to my side of the bed. "Who told you about her, Stephanie?" The anger in his voice made me feel that Desiree had been something and someone very important. If barely anyone knew about her and he wanted nothing more than to protect their past from me.

"No one told me about her, Ranger."

"Then how do you know who she is…was." He corrected and the sudden sorrow on his face before returning to his stoic demeanor.

"Because I do; did you love her?"

For a moment his eyes didn't meet mine but when they finally did he nodded to me. "Yes, I did."

"She's the reason you don't like being called Ricky—is it?"

"That was what she used to call me; and she was the only one that called me that." For some reason that I still could not explain; Desiree was right. That annoying ghost of a woman that I thought to be solely a figment of my imagination—had been telling the truth. Meaning Desiree had been the love of Ranger's life; and I knew just by the hurt expression on his face—that she was part of the dark secret he had purposely kept from me.

"What happened to her; you referred to her in a past tense sense."

Ranger's eyes diverted down towards the bed and when he spoke his tone was cold and final. "Desiree was murdered."

And with that confession Ranger got off the bed and disappeared into the bathroom—leaving me with a million more questions. And the sudden feeling that I was all alone.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: ** This is just kind of a heads up… I am dealing with some personal things right now. It's taking a toll on me already; so while I want to keep updating for you guys as much as possible—please be patient. As you all know—I love your reviews anyways…. But reading them brighten my day more than you could imagine. So please review! =] And thank you in advance for your patience. -Megan

**Disclaimer: JE's characters- my version. **

Chapter Four

After the mention of Desiree things were significantly uncomfortable. When Ranger got out of the shower and returned to bed no words were exchanged; there wasn't even any cuddling. I wanted to know more but I also felt guilty for springing this on him; and I felt like I was invading on a side of Ranger I was purposely kept out of.

The next morning Ranger woke me with a kiss before heading out and even though I was a RangeMan employee and should get some things done; I had to talk to Desiree. After showering and getting dressed I gave my mom a call to make sure Joe got Aly there okay this morning. Aly got on the phone to talk for a few minutes and I promised her I'd stop by later. I still wasn't sure where we were going to stay tonight. On a normal basis after the attack happened whenever I had Aly for the night we would stay in Ranger's penthouse. Tonight was different especially after the awkward mention of Desiree and the uneasy atmosphere hanging between Ranger and I.

I was dreading going home but I had no other choice; I needed more information from Desiree. Now that I knew she wasn't lying to me about being in Ranger's life; which needless to say tore me apart. I got home and didn't immediately see Desiree but the sound of her humming came from upstairs. I followed the sound of her hums and found her looking around Aly's room.

"You're really lucky you know that?" Desiree didn't look at me when she spoke, but with her it was hard to know whether or not she was being serious. "I always wanted to have kids, but apparently it wasn't in the cards." She continued moving slowly around the room looking at Aly's toys and clothes. I wanted to say something; but what do you say to a dead girl about her lack of future?

"Can we have a serious talk?" For the first time since I walked into the room she made eye contact with me. A small smile spread on her lips but didn't brighten up her eyes the way it normally did when she was amused.

"Well, looks like someone had a good night." I was shocked to see there was no joking attitude about her; and in place was a sad expression.

"I did." I nodded in confirmation.

"What do you want to talk about?"

"What happened to you; and what happened between you and Ranger?" She nodded and walked out of Aly's room, I followed her into my bedroom where she plopped down on my bed; and I took my usual spot on the bay window bench.

"Did you ask him about me?"

"Yeah."

"How'd he take those questions?" Even without my answer she knew _exactly_ how Ranger took my questions. "He doesn't like bringing me up to anyone."

"Why not?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "I can't read his mind any more than you can. Even when I have spent my time following him; I only know what he says and does. There are some moments I feel like he can see me; and I can imagine what is going on in his mind. But that doesn't mean I know for sure what goes on in that beautiful head of his."

"Do you know what happened to you; why you're…."

"Dead." She finished my sentence that I was reluctant to let out. "I can't talk about it. It's not that I don't want to, but whenever I start to talk about it a weird thing happens where I basically become a mute."

"He said you were murdered." She nodded her head. I wanted to freak out and ask for more information but aside from the fact that she couldn't tell me; I needed to remain calm and keep her talking.

"Can you talk to me about the relationship the two of you had?" A smile spread wider over her face as she looked back on what the two of them had.

"We met when we were in Junior high and the both of us always had a thing for each other. The older we got; the better things got but we also fought a lot. Sometimes it was over something stupid, other times it was over more serious things. But we were in love and even after we split up and ended up getting her pregnant; we still found our way back."

"You knew Rachel?"

"No, but Ricky told me about her once he found out she was pregnant."

"What'd you do?"

"I told him to marry her, be a man and step up to his responsibilities. Obviously they got divorced, and he came back to me."

This conversation was proving much more difficult than I ever imagined it would be. Everything Ranger has kept from me about his past; this woman was in the center of it. She was there for all of it; what did it mean that I didn't know any of it? Was he keeping this from me as a way to protect me? Or was it to protect Desiree, and her memory in his mind? If omissions are betrayals—what would this be, that I was hearing about this from her and not _him_?

"Hurts, doesn't it?" Desiree asked, dragging me from the darkness of my mind.

"What?"

"Realizing you're not the only woman in his heart." I was about to say something on the defensive; but she sighed and began again before I had the chance. "Who knew that even when you're dead your heart can still break?" Desiree let out a soft laugh that I was sure was supposed to make her comment seem more of a joke than it really was.

"What do you mean?" I'm not moron; I knew who she was talking about—but something made me want to comfort her.

Desiree rolled her eyes with a laugh and settled in to continue talking. "Ricky is no monk; I mean he definitely had other women around. But I was never worried because it was all the same, a simple hook up. It wasn't just that though, all of those women saw him as this guy that could protect them and take care of them. Then he met you and for the first time he found someone that wanted to protect and take care of _him_. I knew you'd be different than the others and I was right; but it tore me apart to watch. Watching the two of you connect and seeing how much you meant to him. The only thing that kept me sane was knowing I was still around, and that he never told you about me."

I wanted to provide a good response to ease her pain but there was only one thing I could think to say. "I love him."

"That makes two of us."

We sat for a few more moments in silence both of us wrapped up in the thoughts of the one we loved. Desiree was in love with Ricky and I was in love with Carlos. But who was it he was in love with? I knew he loved me and the simple fact that Desiree was sitting in front of me; even if all laws of physics deemed it impossible—was enough to tell me he loved her too. Was it possible though for him to be committed to me without really giving up her?

"Listen, I need a favor."

An eyebrow rose as her blue eyes showed her curiosity the same way mine do. "What kind of favor could I possibly do for you; seeing as the only thing I can do is hang out here."

"I want to spend time with my daughter tonight; usually I just go to Ranger's place—tonight's different though. But I don't want to freak her out by having a constant conversation with someone she can't see."

"You want alone time; I got it. I'll do that for you if you do a favor for me."

I realized promising Desiree anything could be extremely dangerous, but I needed time with my daughter. "Name it."

"If he comes over tonight; can you please not get physical? In the past I've been able to get far away from you two but I'm kinda stuck here now." Her eyes looked around the room avoiding mine, I could see how uncomfortable this was for her.

All along I saw Desiree as a hindrance in my life; but now I realized it was just as hard for her as was for me. Probably more difficult for her, truthfully, because at the end of the day at least I was able to hold Ranger or talk to him—she couldn't.

"I promise."

"Thanks."

We sat in silence for a few more moments and as I looked around the room I noticed my mess from the day before had been cleaned. The bed was made; the glass from the bottle was cleaned up and everything else looked thoroughly cleaned.

"What happened here after I left yesterday?"

"Well Ricky came back inside and after about an hour of sitting on the bed with his face in his hands he cleaned the glass. Then he called in a few of those sexy co-workers of his to double and triple check no one else was here and everything was secured. Ella showed up after that and cleaned the rest of your house, he left when he got a call telling him wherever you were."

I should have known this was Ella's handy work; I needed to thank her. Not just for cleaning up my apartment this time; but for everything else she's done for me.

"Who else knows about you?"

"What do you mean?"

"You said you've been in Ranger's life since junior high."

"I know Tank and Lester; well I more knew about Lester. He was never around us though; and Tank was the only other person I actually met. As a matter-of-fact he hung around us quite a bit and was the only one Ricky would stay near after my death."

"Shit." Ranger probably assumed Tank was the one who mentioned Desiree to me; I needed to straighten that up before I got him in trouble. But wait… "Something like what happened to you; wouldn't it have been in the papers or something?"

Desiree threw her head back and let out a loud laugh. "I realize that he wasn't a CEO of a company and had access to all of the latest gadgets like he does now. But do you really think that man didn't do everything he possibly could to get rid of anything mentioning that incident? Even before he left for his latest assignment he did a check online for anything that related to that issue. Every now and then he finds something; but immediately makes it go away." He was _still_ making sure no one knew about the biggest secret of his life. Ranger was _still_ protecting her. I couldn't help but feel a sting in my heart at the thought; I really had been naïve to believe I was the only woman in Ranger's heart this way.

"I guess not. Well, I'm going to go get Aly now."

"And when you come back I will be out of your hair."

"Thank you." Desiree left the room, and I sat there hardly able to believe we had a civilized conversation about the one thing that mattered most to both of us. Well, if this wasn't surreal—I didn't know what was.

Before picking up Aly there was one person I wanted to call; but I decided to wait until I was sitting in the privacy of my car before making this call. The phone rang a couple times before he picked up.

"Cupcake? Everything okay?" I felt my heart sink; I had sufficiently worried every single person in my life over this past month.

"Yeah Joe, everything's okay. I just wanted to see how your time was with Aly this weekend."

"Oh," He was trying to control the shock in his voice before continuing. "It was great, it's official though; Bob won't listen to anything I say after she leaves."

"Oh yeah?" I asked with a laugh.

"Yeah, that girl is the dog whisperer I swear. Not only that but when I come home and she's not with me he sits by the front door for at least an hour crying and looking to me like I forgot her."

"Now that's a good dog."

"You got that right."

"Can I ask you something?"

Joe hesitated for a second, but I knew it was only because my moods have been so up and down that everyone watched what they said around me. "Of course, you know you can always ask me anything."

I let out a big sigh and prepared for the answer to my question. "How is Aly doing with me so… crazy lately?"

"Honestly?"

"Yeah."

"She misses you, and she is so sad that she can't make you happy. I swear there is nothing about that girl that says she is a child; she will have adult like conversations with me."

"Does she think I'm nuts?"

"No, she knows you went through a lot, and that you missed… him."

"Okay, thanks Joe. I'm heading over to my ma's to spend time with her now."

"What no work today?" Joe asked with a laugh.

"Well, when you're dating the boss I assume I get a free pass from work every now and again." He laughed again, and I couldn't help but smile.

"You just let me know if you need a doctor's note or something; I'll make one up for ya!"

"Hey now, isn't that illegal there mister?"

"I won't tell if you don't."

"You got a deal."

"Hey Steph?" Joe asked before we hung up.

"Yeah?"

"Are you okay?" The worry in his voice was palpable.

"I will be."

"Just know I'm always here for you, okay?"

"I know you are, and thank you."

"Anytime."


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: JE's Characters—my version**

Chapter Five

"Mommy!" The sound of Aly's voice echoed throughout my parent's house as I got there. I could hear her little feet running to the front door where I stood; I got down to my knees and waited for her. When she came in full view her dark blue eyes lit up with adoration and her long hair with the curly ends, bounced around. Aly wasted no time running into my arms and the force sent both us backwards onto the floor. We were both giggling and when Aly began licking my cheek bringing out a full-belly laugh that I haven't experienced in months.

"What_ are _you doing, goofy girl!" I managed to ask her through my laughter; she smiled and sat up, displaying the amazing smile she inherited from her dad.

"That's what Bob does when I go see him!"

We continued to laugh as I lifted her from the ground into my arms. "Well, sure if Bob does it! Did you have fun with your dad, honey?"

I set her on her feet and she began twirling around with a smile; it was hard to have a conversation with Aly where she _wasn't _twirling these days. "Yeah! Daddy says I should be in dance classes!"

"Did he?"

"Yes mommy, and he said I'd get to dance on a stage in front of everyone and wear pretty dresses. Can I _please_ do that, mommy?"

Joe knew how to give his baby everything she wanted; on numerous occasions he has mentioned putting her in ballet. Our original plan was to start her in classes this fall; but the attack happened and now I felt guilty because I was acting like everything else didn't matter. I had no issue with letting Aly be in dance and I was happy that Joe didn't forget; even if it had slipped my mind.

"I think that is a great idea, baby! And I think your daddy really wants to be there when we pick out your leotard—that way you can show me."

"Whoopie!" Aly began twirling around the house more as Grandma Mazur walked into the room.

"I don't know how that girl spins so much; I get dizzy just watching her! You think she gets the twirling from her dad; you were never a twirler, Stephanie." The image of Joe in a tutu flashed into my head and I snorted out a laugh.

"Next time you see him, ask him about, Gram."

She smiled and nodded her head; I always enjoyed setting Joe up for an array of various embarrassing questions from Grandma Mazur. And before the attack it had become a game between the two of us to bait Grandma with information that would embarrass the other. It made me really happy that Joe and I had remained as good of friends as we once were. For a while it seemed the only thing that there was nothing physical involved and it actually seemed to make things better. And other than my mother's _not-so-subtle_ hints that she wanted the three of us to be a family—everyone else accepted the relationship Joe and I maintained.

"Daddy told me Ranger is back—is he, mama?" Aly's eyes lit up as she bounced up and down in front of me. It was difficult to say who had missed Ranger more during his absence; Me, Tank or Aly. While Aly absolutely loved Joe; she still saw Ranger as a huge part of her life—and Joe has always handled anything concerning Ranger, without any animosity.

"He sure is, baby."

"When can we see him!" I tried not to let my disappointment show but the truth was I still hadn't talked to Ranger today. I didn't know if I would talk to him either, or if he was still irritated with my knowledge of his past.

"Maybe later tonight; he has a busy day today."

"Okay, are we going to say at his house tonight?"

"No we're going to go to our house today." Aly's face visibly fell with disappointment; geez I really was making a mess of things if _home_ to Aly wasn't our home anymore.

"But I colored a picture for my guys." Ranger was still under the illusion that the RangeMan employees were _his guys_; well little did he know that they were now _Aly's guys_. There was even a point during this past Christmas when Aly really wanted this talking dolly; well they were sold out wherever her and I looked. So we stopped by Haywood and all of them panicked when they saw Aly crying; and they made it their mission to find this doll. So along with all the crazed mothers shopping to get the doll their little girl wanted was a group of scary looking guys. Needless to say they got the doll—and surprised her with it for Christmas.

"You can give it to them later, sweets. What do you say we go home?"

"Okay!"

I looked around the house and said Goodbye to my mom and Grandma Mazur before heading out. The entire way home Aly filled me in on every single detail about her weekend with Joe and Bob. There wasn't a single weekend that Aly didn't have a fantastic time with them; and whenever I saw Joe all he could do was gab about the girl. Even the other cops working with Morelli got tired of listening to him talk about her; no matter how adorable it was. Joe even had about a dozen photos of her and Bob in his wallet that he pulled out to show people any chance he got.

When we got home I had to admit I was a little worried that Desiree would go back on her deal. But when we arrived she was sitting in the front room and gave me a polite smile before heading into the basement to give us space. Aly immediately pulled us into the backyard where we played on her play land; twirled around in hula hoops and chased each other around the yard.

I haven't had this much fun and felt so… _alive_ in the past month as I have today. All along I've been trying to protect Aly from this place but maybe we both just needed to play around and just be silly. We went back into the house and I cranked the stereo to the Oldies station that Joe always played. 'Twist and Shout' by The Beatles was playing, and we both started dancing around the living room and kitchen. I noticed Desiree had come up from the basement with a curious smile on her face at what was going on. I waved her in to join us; even if Aly couldn't see her—sometimes there is nothing better for the soul than to dance around. The three of us began jumping up and down on the couch laughing and singing—if only everyday was like this.

"Ranger!" Aly yelled as she jumped off the couch and ran into his waiting arms; Desiree and I quickly stopped bouncing. The smile on Ranger's face was so natural and I couldn't tell if it was because he was happy to see Aly or if it was because I didn't resemble the walking dead.

"I missed you, little Babe." He set her down on the ground and placed a kiss on the top of her head. I shot a look at Desiree before I went to him, but she was already disappearing into the basement again. As much as I didn't want to I couldn't help but suddenly feel of sting of pain for the position she was now in. Just today she mentioned how much she wanted children; and it was no secret that she loved Ranger. And now she had to bear witness to Ranger showing affection for my daughter like the happy family she had so desperately wanted.

Ranger came over to me and lifted me off the couch with a kiss. "I'm sorry about last night; I promise to talk about this with you. It just took me by surprise but I handled it terribly." I smiled and nodded, placing a quick kiss on his lips.

"What do you guys say I whip up some Panini's for dinner?"

"Yahoo!" Aly yelled with excitement before she began dancing around the house. Before Ranger could follow me into the kitchen Aly had dragged him off to be her dance partner. He held onto her arms and spun her around; held her hand while she twirled and did whatever else that little girl wanted.

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

The sun was down and Aly was in bed; and I knew Ranger intended to continue the conversation we had the other night. I couldn't imagine having the conversation about Desiree; with Desiree stuck permanently in earshot. So I left the living room light out and pulled Ranger outside with my; we left the sliding glass door open but shut the screen door so bugs didn't start moving in. Once we were a few steps outside Ranger scooped me into his arms and placed a heated kiss on my lips as he walked us over to the hammock. Which still remained my favorite part of the entire house but since Ranger went away I hardly went on it; the memory of lying in his arms with him slowly rocking us, was one I had really missed.

Like in the past Ranger laid on the inside next to the yard and I lay curled into his arms; slowly rocking from side to side. Just being here next to this man that I loved with all my heart put an air of peace and serenity in my anxious mind. We were supposed to be talking about things—we could both feel the importance of what needed to be said. But it was going to get uncomfortable and make things tense; and between the two of us it was hard to give up this moment for something like that. Finally though Ranger let out a sigh and began:

"How do you know about her, Stephanie?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you. Don't worry Tank or Lester didn't tell me and I didn't find it in any articles—I'm sure you've had all those successfully destroyed." Ranger turned to look into my eyes and even in the darkness it was easy to see his bewildered expression.

"I am so lost right now; something tells me you know a lot more about this than I ever imagined."

All I could do was shrug my shoulders; a lot of crazy things happened in my life—but _nothing_ like this. "I do know a lot about her but nothing about what actually happened to her; and between the two of you."

"Before we jump into this though, I just need to know you didn't hear about her from public records."

"Why?"

"I don't expect you to like my answer." He paused waiting for my reaction, but this time I was the one with the stoic expression. "I need to protect her. There are some things even I don't even know about from before she died. The case was investigated but nothing came up about who killed her; and I will continue to search for who did this. Before she was killed there were suspicions I had that something was wrong but I never asked her and I can't help but think if I would have asked her about what was going on—I could have saved her."

Before I could even form a reaction to his confession; Desiree was standing at the screen door and screaming my name. I sat up quickly to see her—even from a distance I knew this wasn't just some clever ploy to get Ranger away from me.

"What is it?" Ranger asked sitting up, his eyes quickly scanning the yard.

"ALY!" Desiree yelled pointing behind her. Without warning I rolled over Ranger and found my feet and took off running. I threw the screen door open and Desiree began leading the way for us to go upstairs.

"I was just in there watching her sleep and she started convulsing." Sure enough when I entered Aly's room and flipped on the light she was still asleep: but her body was convulsing. Tears immediately sprang from my eyes and my hands reached out to touch her; but I was shaking. I heard Ranger running up the stairs and I yelled for him to call for an ambulance.

"Don't move her." Desiree said; it was clear she was just as upset as I was about this. My shaking hands smoothed down her hair and I held her hand as the tears poured out of my eyes. Ranger stood behind me with his hands securely placed on my shoulders. Slowly, Aly's body stopped convulsing but I didn't move from my spot; and within a few minutes the sound of sirens broke through the silence of the night.

Ranger had to pry my hands off of her so the EMTs could transport her onto a stretcher and down the steps. I was one step behind them the whole way down and once she was loaded into the back of the ambulance I climbed in too. They were going to deal with the wrath of Stephanie if they told me I couldn't go with her. Ranger tried to climb in too but the EMT stopped him.

"I'm sorry sir, only one other can be in here with the patient." Ranger's eyes darkened as he shot the EMT a frightening look.

"Gather some stuff for Aly, and call Joe!" I pleaded with him; he nodded and then the ambulance was off. Aly awoke during the ride and she was terrified with what was going on; the EMT gave her a sedative that calmed her back into sleep.

We arrived at the hospital and I followed them into the room; the nurse asked me insurance and medical history questions while we waited. The nurse checked all her vital signs and informed me the doctor would be in soon. I began pacing around the room; tears were still heavily falling from my eyes and my body was still shaking.

What was happening to my girl? Was it something I did wrong; should I have not let her twirled so much today! _Please, God—let my baby be okay! It's one thing if the disastrous things happen to me; but they can't happen to Aly. Please! _

I was pulled out of my own thoughts as I heard Joe yell at one of the poor receptionists that didn't realize she was holding precious information about his entire world. I quickly stuck my head out the door to prevent a meltdown. "Joe—over here!" I called through choked out sobs; he turn and ran to our room.

There was a panic in his expression and his eyes were rimmed with the sting of tears. Joseph Morelli wasn't a crier—occasionally under certain circumstances you could catch a single tear rolling down his cheek. But I was no fool; I could tell the entire drive over here there had been waterfalls coming out of his eyes. Once we were in the room he pulled me into his arms for a hug; we stood there in the embrace and it was a complete comfort to have someone there to hold me up while I balled my eyes out. The nurse indicated that Aly was simply asleep right now; but that wasn't enough to calm me down. Never again do I want to watch anything like that happen to my little girl ever again; so now on top of my worries about the attacker—I doubted I'd get any sleep.

By the time the doctor entered the room; Ranger still wasn't here. "Good evening, I presume you to be Alyson's parents?"

"Yes." Joe and I answered together.

"Well I'm Dr. Peterson; has anything like this ever happened to Alyson before?"

"Not that I've witnessed." I admitted—suddenly worried that all along I had been sleeping away while my daughter was convulsing next to me.

"Same with me." Joe added; and I could tell by the look on his face he was wondering the same thing I was. Dr. Peterson nodded in understanding and began placing his stethoscope on various places of Aly's chest to listen to her breathing.

"Well, I can tell you that Alyson did have a seizure; the extent of it I won't know until I do a couple more tests. With that being said; she is doing okay right now. I do want her to stay here overnight for observation, and we will run some more tests and know what is going on tomorrow." Joe and I both nodded; the tears were stinging the back of my eyes to be released again. I was thankful when Joe reached over and took mine in his; giving it a strong reassuring squeeze.

"So I don't want to keep you too long tonight; you both look like you could get some sleep. You are welcome to stay with her and in the morning we will get to the bottom of this." We both nodded. "Now do you have any other questions for me tonight?" Of course my mind was a complete blank; but I assumed more questions would pop up—the second he walked away.

"No Doctor, thank you." Joe said; speaking up for the both of us.

"Alright, well I'll have the nurse bring in some blankets and pillows if you do plan to stay. There will always be someone around, should you have any questions for me."

"Thank you." I choked out; he nodded and left. Joe let go of my hand and pulled me in for a hug—making the tears fall out once again.

"You don't have to stay Joe; you can go home and get some sleep."

"Cupcake, if you think I'm going to be able to just go home and go to bed with my baby girl in the hospital—you couldn't be more wrong. Besides, there's no way I'm leaving you alone in here with her." _Alone_—speaking of, where was Ranger? I didn't understand why he wasn't here already; but I couldn't afford to worry about that right now. My concern for Aly was taking over everything else in my mind; and having Joe here with me as comfort was exactly what I needed.

**A/N:** _Okay, I just want to say a couple things—for starters; thank you so much for your continued support! It really makes me feel great to know you all enjoy reading my stories as much as I enjoy writing them. Also, I am no expert in medical procedures; I have done some research which will be put to use in the next chapter. However, if I don't get something exactly accurate I am sorry. Feel free to inform me of the correction; or just go along with what it is I am writing. And third: I'm sure all of you know I'm writing multiple FF's. So I intend to update two chapters of one story before moving on to the next. There are always exceptions to this of course; if inspiration strikes—I'm going with it! But anyways, expect my next update to be for this story. So please review and let me know what you think! =]_


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: JE's characters—my version.**

Chapter Six

My eyes struggled to open when I felt someone rubbing my arm with a feather light touch. When I finally pulled open my heavy lids Ranger was standing over me. Even with his stoic expression in place I still noticed the stress lines around his eyes and tautness to his lips. It took me a moment to remember where I was and all that had happened. I was lying on the hammock with Ranger; Desiree yelled that something was wrong with Aly…. Aly was having a seizure. My body moved much too quickly to sit up and look around; Aly was asleep in the hospital bed; Joe was passed out in the chair on the other side of her bed. I took was asleep in a chair and when I saw it was 1 in the morning I realized I had only been asleep for about half an hour.

Before I fell asleep I spent my time pacing around the room; then I'd go harass the nurses' on staff for a cup of coffee. Then after a great deal of tossing and turning in the chair I finally fell asleep. From the looks of things though, Ranger still hadn't slept. The exhaustion and worry that he worked so hard to hide; was still present for me to see. I reached my hands up on either side of his face and pulled him down to me for a soft and gentle kiss. When Ranger pulled away he rested his forehead against mine and with his eyes shut let out a sigh.

"Can we talk, Babe?"

"Of course." He moved so I could get off the chair and after I placed a soft kiss on Aly's forehead I took Ranger's outstretched hand and followed him out. We didn't say anything until he pulled me into an empty hospital room that was almost identical to Aly's. There was a bed, monitors, a TV and instead of two uncomfortable chairs there was one relatively comfy looking love seat.

"Are we allowed to be in here?" I didn't know much about hospital procedures—but I did know they usually frowned upon random non-patients hanging out in the rooms.

Ranger simply nodded and sat us down on the couch; we faced each other with our backs against the arm rests. The stoic expression was fading away and was replaced with a distraught and worried expression. Before he began 'the talk' that I was now relatively freaked out about; he grabbed my legs off the ground and laid them over his lap.

"Where were you? I thought you were going to come right here." Ranger nodded and removed one of my shoes and began a slow and determined massage on my foot and ankle.

"I very seldom lose my cool; and when I do the emotions are usually anger and revenge that I take out on whatever bad guy I'm dealing with at the time. Lately though, things have been so difficult for us. Someone attacked you and he is _still_ out there. Something is getting to you; and I have no idea what is going on or how to help you. Then there's this thing about Desiree which I have been trying really hard _not_ to push you for information and details. Every one of those things have been pushing my ability to keep my emotions in check—then tonight Aly has a seizure and that feels like one more person I love that I can't protect." Ranger let his head hang down a little, and I suddenly realized _just_ how difficult all of this had to be for him.

Ranger was the man of mystery. He purposely avoided becoming a 'family man' for this very reason; because now there were things happening that he couldn't control. But there was also more on the line for him, against all his better judgment he now _was_ a family man. His inability to let me go, his love for Aly as his own—those were emotions he couldn't control. Love does crazy thing to a person, and I couldn't help feeling guilty that it was me and my crazy life that Ranger fell in love with. Now here he was up to his armpits in issues that were beyond his control and tugged relentlessly at every emotion he avoided. I leaned forward and ran my hand through his hair; watching as his eyes slowly closed at the contact.

"I went for a drive and came to the hospital not long after Morelli got here."

"I didn't see you." I said; surprised that he didn't come in and make sure everything was okay.

Ranger's body tensed up. "When I came in I stopped at the door; you didn't see me because you had your face buried in Morelli's chest."

My fingers stroked the side of his tense face. "That didn't mean anything; Joe is Aly's dad and he will always be in my life. Plus, Joe is my friend—but that's it." I didn't understand what Ranger was really upset about; it wasn't as if he walked in on us making out.

"I know, Babe. It's just I saw the two of you and little Aly lying there; I saw a family. And I know in the past I have sent you back to Morelli and there was a split second where I felt like I should do that again. Where I should back out and let you be a family; and I would always be on the outskirts dealing with the unemotional issues that should arise. But even just the thought of that made me realize how much I love you and Aly. I can't lose you two and so after some more driving and thinking—I realized what it is I have to do."

He paused and my heart was pounding, wondering where this conversation was going. "I have done nothing but kept the darkest parts of my life hidden from everyone; but I don't want to do that with you anymore. Stephanie, I love you more than I ever believed was possible and I don't want to keep things from you. There will be some things I can't tell you but that will be because of a specific job or assignment. I don't want to lose you in anyway; whether it be by some gruesome fate I couldn't prevent, or because I just haven't learned to open up."

I wasn't quite sure what to say. The last thing I wanted was for him to feel pressured into telling me certain aspects of his life; especially if he didn't think I was ready to know about them yet. But at the same time I knew in the future if both of us continued to keep important details stuffed away, this relationship wasn't going to work. And sitting here with my legs on Ranger's lap and my hand tracing the line of his jaw—I knew this was one of the only places that has ever been home to me. It didn't matter if I was sitting in a hospital room, or if we were in a ditch. I wanted nothing more than to be with him. Over the past 10 months while he was gone I thought of nothing more than what it would be like to _finally_ have him back. Finally to have him as my own; after all those years of fighting my feelings for him and our borderline scary attraction. We both needed to share the things that are hard to talk about, but it was important. A relationship based on sex and attraction will only go so far. While that journey would be _amazing_—we both needed more. And I knew it wasn't fair to expect him to just inform me on parts if his life; if I wasn't willing to do the same.

"You're right." I finally managed to say as I took his face in my hands. "I don't want to lose you and I promise you won't lose me. While you were away I missed you every single moment of the day. And even though Joe and Aly, and Aly and me are a family—_you_ are my family too. You're what I want and that means whatever dark parts of your past you keep hidden—I _want_ to know that too."

Ranger reached out and readjusted me so I was sitting on his lap and my head was on his shoulder. His arms were wound around my waist. In moments like this I got the feeling Ranger was using the comfort of us together to rid himself of the demons of the past. The things maybe he couldn't talk about, or didn't want to talk about. But either way I was the key ingredient to this man's happiness and comfort; and I realized other than Aly—he was the key ingredient in mine.

"Stephanie, you have to tell me what's going on. Someone said something to you tonight; the way you respond to things when you are home alone…you're talking to someone. I need to know, no matter how hard it is to talk about. I can't protect you if I don't know what's going on. And in exchange—I will tell you about Desiree, and what I have kept locked away in the shadows of my mind."

I pulled away to look into his eyes. They were serious and determined, but there was also a part of him that was frightened. This was going to be difficult to explain, but I could tell that my secret has been eating him alive with concern. I have been selfishly hiding things from him, and expecting information from him in return. Ranger needed to know.

"This is going to sound crazy—and probably unbelievable."

"Babe, one thing I've learned since meeting you is nothing is completely unbelievable."

"And the crazy part?"

"Most of it's definitely crazy—but I believe it."

"Okay, well brace yourself; this is a new level of crazy."

"I'm listening." Ranger said as he slowly rubbed my back.

"After the attack happened I spent a couple days in the hospital, and I tried really hard to keep this tough mentality about the situation. I didn't want to let what happened get the better of me, but I was having a hard time moving on mentally from it. When I returned home I was constantly on edge and found myself checking over my shoulder constantly. Then one day I looked and there was this woman standing in my bedroom staring at me. I freaked out and asked her who she was and how she got in my house. All she kept saying was, _"can you see me, can you hear me"_. I was convinced I was going insane, and when I called the control room at RangeMan I asked them how she got in my house. They had no idea what I was talking about—because they didn't see anyone. At first I convinced myself she was just a figment of my imagination. Then we began talking, it wasn't easy because she was obnoxious and made it very difficult to have a real conversation."

I cast my glance in Ranger's direction, and even though he remained silent—I could tell he was having trouble understanding . Not that I blamed him; I could hardly believe it myself.

"The woman that I've been talking to, that has been confined to my home since the attack is someone you know. It's Desiree. I don't know how she ended up there or why, but she's there none the less."

The silence between us dragged on; I could almost hear the internal struggles going on in Ranger's mind. On one hand there was clearly something unnatural—or in this case, supernatural—going on in my home. Along with the fact that I have endured_ a lot_ of crazy things, made it difficult to just write this one off. Then again, Desiree was _dead_. And there was also going to be believers and non-believers of the paranormal world; and if I knew anything about Ranger—he didn't specialize in that world.

"She's dead." He muttered out, trying his hardest to keep an open mind.

"I know that, but she's still there. As unbelievable as it is; and she says the reason she is still on this planet is because you haven't let her go."

"What does that even mean?"

"I don't know. I do know that she is annoyingly gorgeous, long blonde hair, and that we have the same eyes. She told me the two of you were in love but got into a lot of ridiculous fights. During one of your break-ups was when you got Rachel pregnant, and you told Desiree. She told you to man up to your responsibilities and marry Rachel, and support your child. Obviously the two of you got divorced, and according to Desiree you went back to her. I asked her who knew about her; and she told me Tank knew her and Lester knew about her. Other than that none of the men you work with now, I knew about the articles or anything on the web about Desiree wasn't there—because she said you've made sure to get rid of it all. You've already confirmed that she was the only one to call you Ricky; and she made good and sure to rub that in my face. And earlier tonight it was her that called my name and told me about Aly. Desiree told me earlier that she really wanted kids and since I have been purposely keeping Aly out of that house; Desiree was in the room watching her tonight. We don't know why she's there but I have a feeling the person who killed her, and the person who attacked me are somehow related. If not the same person, but she can't talk about it. Apparently, whenever she tries to say something about what happened she becomes mute and can't tell me. Please, feel free and tell me I'm wrong about any of this stuff."

"It's all true; the stuff she told you and that you know." Ranger lifted me off his lap and replaced me on the seat next to him. He stood and started pacing around the room with his hands firm on his hips. "This isn't possible."

I rolled my eyes at the thought of how obnoxious Desiree has been, minus the last couple days. "Well, it sure as hell feels like it's real."

"I don't want to believe this is true; but there is no way you'd know this stuff if it wasn't for it being real. No one knew about Desiree sending me back to Rachel—other than the two of us. Not even Tank knew that much; we never really talked about anything like that. And her eyes….they were identical to yours." I felt uneasy watching Ranger pace around; this was normal behavior for Morelli to pace. Ranger on the other hand usually hid his emotions extremely well, but here I sat finding that _I_ was the one hiding my emotions.

As great as it was to realize that Desiree hasn't been feeding me a bunch of lies—it still hurt. But I couldn't help but wonder what was going through his mind now. It wasn't as if the two of them broke up and decided to just be friends the way it was with Morelli and I. He _lost her_ the way he was worried about losing me…but what if he hadn't lost her. Does what they had detract from what we have—especially if in his heart she is still a sore point and someone that he is still holding onto? I didn't want to be selfish here and make this moment about me, since I could only imagine what was going through Ranger's mind.

"I'm pretty tired." I said after a few more minutes of Ranger pacing, and thinking. Truth was, I felt wired beyond all belief; but I knew Ranger needed time to digest this. His news could wait. Besides, I had a big day coming up with finding out about what is going on with my precious baby girl. And I had a feeling I would definitely need my energy for whatever was to come with that.

"Okay, I'll walk you back to the room. Would you like me to stay?"

"I just handed out some pretty heavy news—I wouldn't be mad if you needed to get some fresh air."

Ranger grabbed the front of my shirt and pulled me into him and let his lips crush against mine. "I love you, Stephanie."

"I love you too, Carlos. Don't feel you have to rush back okay? Don't run off on me, but we'll be okay in here—I'll call you the second I know what's going on." He placed another kiss on my lips before setting me back on my feet.

"Thank you, Babe."

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

Getting back to sleep was near impossible; my mind was off with Ranger wondering where he was going. I was happy to have some of this off my chest, but it wasn't nearly as satisfying as I hoped it would be. And the more I thought about it, the less likely it was that I was going to fall asleep. A few times I even looked over at Joe and wondered how the hell he could look so comfortable asleep in a chair. I even considered making him trade chairs with me, but I was sure that wasn't exactly the real issue. The rising sun was beginning to break through the darkness in the room when my body and mind finally agreed to calm down long enough to fall asleep.

It felt like five minutes had passed before I was waking up again. But when I opened my eyes I saw Aly was sitting on the center of the hospital bed, playing with my hair. Joe was awake in the chair next to her, looking well rested as he read the paper.

"Good morning baby girl, how are you feeling?"

I did the mental rundown of Aly's appearance to make sure she was okay; and thankfully she looked like my perfect daughter.

"I'm okay, this bed isn't as nice as all my other beds." Joe and I both laughed. Aly really did have a myriad of mattresses at her disposal. She had her own bed at Joe's house and mine, plus she frequently slept in my bed when she was home. I also know that there are nights when she's had nightmares at Joe's house and crawls into bed with her daddy and Bob; then of course there was Ranger's bed that we had commandeered while he was away.

The nurse walked in a few minutes later and gave Aly a little carton of milk, a banana and a little cup of yogurt. Being that she was 100% _my_ daughter she asked the nurse for a candy bar instead. I don't think Joe and I could have been more proud of our little bad habit eater. The nurse informed us that Aly would receive a few different tests this morning that wouldn't take long. After the doctor looked the results over he would come in to speak with us.

Aly endured all the tests with more patience and control than either of her parents did. Joe and I were nervous wrecks watching her go through some of these things. And even at one point Aly reached over and pet Joe's unruly hair and said to him: "It's okay Daddy, it will be over soon."

Finally after all that was done; Dr. Peterson came back in to give us the results.

"Well, it looks like Alyson…."

"Aly." She corrected him with a smile; which pulled a beaming smile out of him.

"Well, _Aly_ you did very good today throughout all this. The good news is you don't have to stay here another night; you are free to go home after we talk."

"Okay!" Aly said with a smile.

"Now Aly do you mind if I pull your parents away for a few minutes?"

"That's okay." She flopped back onto the bed and started watching whatever cartoon was on TV. Dr. Peterson took us down the hall to his office and we each took a seat opposite him.

"What's wrong, doc?" Joe asked, as he tried his best to remain patient.

"Aly's seizure last night happened because she has Epilepsy. There are many different kinds of Epilepsy of course, and the type little Miss Aly has is called Benign Rolandic Epilepsy." My eyes darted to Joe's to see if he knew what that meant, and since he gave me the same look—I realized that was a _no_.

"What exactly is that?"

"Benign Rolandic Epilepsy occurs in children usually beginning between 6 and 8 now I know Aly isn't that old yet—but it isn't necessarily uncommon for it to occur earlier. The most common time for seizures to occur will be during the night while she is sleeping. Some nights will be just fine; but you may also have some sleepless nights depending on the situation. Most times you won't even know if she has a seizure at night and she will seem perfectly normal during the day. At night it is important that she doesn't have anything blocking her mouth; and it may be beneficial to have the guard rails on her bed. If she is experiencing a seizure and you see it—do not move her. Stay there making sure all is okay, and unless another seizure occurs a few minutes after the first one—you won't need to come in. Also, if she goes swimming and when in the tub it is important to keep an eye on her. Although seizures with this type of Epilepsy typically occur at night; that doesn't mean that is the only time they _will occur_."

"Why is this happening to her?" Joe asked and I could tell by his voice that he was holding back the sting of fresh tears. It broke my heart to see him like this, so I reached my hand out to hold his.

"Based on the tests it doesn't look like it is because of anything wrong with the brain, and unless either of you have a family member with this. The chances are that there is no exact cause for this; and I am happy to say that Aly should not suffer from this in other areas of life. This is something that will go away on its own by adolescence and until then she will be taking a medication orally once a day to help keep the seizures under control."

"So we can still sign her up for ballet?" Joe belted out, and I was happy at least one of us was able to talk. I had about a million questions—but my voice was gone.

The doctor chuckled and nodded. "Absolutely, Aly will be okay and unless the seizures start happening more frequently you won't need to bring her in. There is a possibility that it could affect her speech and ability to retain information; but I see no sign of that at this point. My best recommendation for you right now though is just to keep an eye on her at night. Maybe set an alarm periodically throughout the night to check on her and to make sure nothing is in her way—should a seizure occur."

A few silent tears rolled down my cheeks, but I wiped them away as quick as possible. I couldn't help but feel some blame for this; and I didn't even know why since it could have just happened naturally. But I didn't want Aly to go through anything like this; even if it wasn't nearly as devastating as some other things that could be going on.

I finally found my voice in time to ask one more question. "But she'll be okay?"

"Yes, Aly will be just fine."


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: JE's Characters—My version!**

**Author's Note:** Okay—So obviously I've had school and stuff keeping me busy…. But I really wanted to share something with all of you that I just found out! I received an invitation to join this international honor society of Community Colleges in 9 Nations. I am so damn happy and proud that I was recognized for my academic achievements thus far!

So knowing that even though I spent my summer with my nose in the books, and haven't been writing as much. I can't help but think how this is ALL worth it! Thank you for sticking by my slow updates! And enjoy =]

Chapter Seven

We hung around the hospital for another hour and a half while the nurses did whatever it was they needed to discharge Aly. The lack of sleep was beginning to weigh heavily on me and I hoped Aly would be okay with just going back home and taking a nap. I was sure Desiree was going out of her mind by now and I felt she would still respect our time together at the house. That was until Aly asked me if she could go home with daddy.

I tried my best to look unaffected by her choice to go with Joe over me—she said she missed Bob and wanted to go cuddle with him.

"Well, Aly honey—are you sure?"

"Yes mommy, Bob needs me. He's all alone and very sad without me." I looked to Joe for him to say something that would guarantee my daughter would come with me. He shrugged his shoulders—trying his hardest to contain his smile. I knew Joe was happy to hear she wanted to go home with him. But to me I heard her tell me she _didn't want _me. I wanted to pull the "Alyson Isabella I carried you in my stomach for 9 long months; then spent 18 hours going through the worst pain of my life. You _have_ to come with me!" But as much as I wanted to say these things, I knew it wouldn't be fair.

"You need to ask your daddy if you can go over there." Aly turned her big baby blue puppy eyes up at him. As if that wasn't reason enough she wrapped herself around his arm.

"Please daddy." Joe reached down and scooped her up into his arms. Both smiled like they were being filmed for some cheesy commercial—and I was playing the green monster of jealousy. I still wasn't used to sharing her. Aly was _my_ baby. Joe is wonderful with her and he gives her anything she could possibly need. So I really had _no_ reason to be upset, but oh well—I still was.

"You can always come over, Princess."

"Can I at least get a hug before you go!" It wasn't until the words came out that I realized I was whining like a child. Joe put Aly back on the ground and she ran over to me. I knelt down to hug her and before she let go, once again I received her 'Bob kiss' on my cheek. Joe chuckled and I couldn't help but smile.

"Princess why don't you go say bye to your nurse." Aly and I looked to the receptionist desk where the woman that has been helping Aly all morning was standing. Aly smiled wide and skipped over to her. Joe pulled me into his arms for a hug; and even though I was now a complete sourpuss I still let my head rest against his shoulder.

"You know this doesn't mean she loves you any less, Cupcake." I blew out a sigh.

"I need to get a dog." Joe laughed at my comment and gave me a tight squeeze.

"If you did—it still wouldn't replace Bob. Just like no one is going to replace you, Steph, not even me."

"I bet you're just loving this, aren't you?"

Joe pulled back and held me an arm's length away. "If by _this_ you mean spending more time with my absolutely incredible daughter. Then yes. But if you really want her to go home with you—I can tell her something came up and she can come over later."

I couldn't do that. All because I was….jealous…that my daughter wanted to spend time with her dad instead of me. "No—you guys go. I'll be okay, I really should check on Ranger actually."

Joe nodded and held my chin with his fingers.

"You let me know if you need to talk—about anything." I nodded; Joe placed a parting kiss on my forehead and went to the desk to collect Aly. She blew me a kiss, took his hand and they left.

I really shouldn't be surprised that even with years apart, the two of them would be so close. Joe was an absolutely wonderful father and Aly has always been so much like him; they were absolutely two peas in a pod. The two of them with Bob made up with their own little family. Even knowing that no matter what I was in love with Ranger—I still wondered if we would ever have that. Just a laid back family life, family pets, making friends with neighbors. I didn't want Ranger to change and become something else all because we were together. I knew _exactly_ what his life entailed _before_ deciding it was him I wanted, so I shouldn't even think about those things. But I couldn't help it. Joe was the family man; and he now had a family with my daughter. I hoped that someday the craziness in my life would calm down, and that maybe someday Ranger, Aly and I could be a "normal" family.

Oh well—no point stressing over this now. But what I did need to worry about was Ranger; we needed to talk—and I needed a ride out of this damn hospital. I pulled my cell phone out when I got to the lobby and dialed Ranger; he answered on the second ring.

"Babe."

"Aly went home with Joe, because she wanted to be with Bob." There it was again—that obnoxious whining I apparently couldn't control.

"Babeee." Since one word responses were quite typical for Ranger I got pretty good at understanding what each single word was trying to say. Well, at least in my mind I got it. This particular instance was him sensing my jealousy—and trying to tell me there was no reason for it.

"Yeah I know. I need a ride, baby."

"Be there in 2." I disconnected the phone and wrapped my arms around my middle. It was my attempt to rid the emptiness from my heart. My baby girl wasn't at my side, and my Carlos was in his own world a million miles away. I was relieved to see the shiny black Porsche turbo roll up; this hospital was making me depressed.

Once I was in the car Ranger smiled at me; there was a calm about him that I haven't seen in….well, a long damn time. Before putting the car into gear, he reached over and took my face in his hands and pressed a deep kiss against my lips.

"I missed you, Babe." Ranger shifted and the car sped out of the parking lot. Ranger behind the wheel was in complete control; always in the zone. We never did a ton of talking during a drive but today I just needed to feel close. So even though I ran the risk of him pushing me away; I leaned over and rested my head against his shoulder. When we stopped at a stoplight he leaned over and placed a kiss on the top of my head.

"We should get a dog." I blurted out.

Even though he just looked at me out of the corner of his eye; I could see the dubious expression plain and clear.

"A dog?"

"Yeah—I think a dog would be perfect."

"I'm not much of a dog person."

"Yeah well, you weren't much of a relationship/family person. But you certainly changed on that subject."

Ranger kept his eyes on the road but his lips twitched up into a smile. "Babe—the second I met you I had no choice."

"So you're saying if I were to buy a dog and bring one home you'd have no choice either?"

At first he didn't say anything; he didn't smile, but he was thinking about it. "Why don't we get to the real issue here."

"And what would that be?" I asked with a tone hoping we really _wouldn't_ talk about the 'real issue'.

"You're upset that Aly wants to be with Bob; and since Bob is with Joe, that means they get to spend more time together."

I rested my elbows on my knees and buried my face in my hands. "I'm terrible, I should be thrilled that those two love each other. But she is _my_ baby! I mean in Wisconsin I was always the one she wanted to be with; I hate sharing my own kid." Ranger reached over and placed a hand on my back and rubbed in soothing circles.

"I know it isn't easy Babe, but just keep in mind that she is in a good place. Her wanting to always be there doesn't say you're a bad mom; it means she loves her father." I sat up and looked at Ranger.

The look in his eyes told me it wasn't necessarily Aly and Joe we were talking about. Even if it was just a sliver of what he was feeling; I could see now how much his decision of how to parent Julie was still getting to him. While he would _always_ be Julie's father—Ron was her _daddy_. Ranger was missing out on every moment with his daughter, and he completely understood the importance of Joe and Aly's relationship. I was about to say something but I caught sight of where we were…I didn't recognize this place. We've been in the car for a little over 20 minutes now; and there was no way we shouldn't be back at RangeMan _or_ my place by now.

My eyes darted around looking for something…anything that gave me a hint of where we were. I caught a glimpse at Ranger's face and saw the amusement he felt watching me.

"Where are we going?"

The corner of his mouth turned up into a smile. "You told me what has been going on with you." He paused; and I remained silent. "I figured it's only fair for me to do the same. It's about time I told you what happened with Desiree."

I sat there afraid to speak. The need for information had been killing me; now I was the student that was tempted with a peek of the answers of an upcoming test. I didn't want to just be given the information anymore, it didn't feel right to drag it out of him. I wanted to _earn_ the story; besides—I was scared as hell to know the truth.

"Are you sure?" I finally managed to ask; he gave a single nod in response.

"So, then where are we going?" Ranger's smile spread into an attractive smirk that lit up his eyes with amusement.

"We're going to the Batcave, Babe."

I immediately remembered what he said about the Batcave many years ago. _"Once you go to the Bat Cave it's forever, babe."_ Lordy—was I ready for this—I mean is that what this was: forever? Maybe this was better than a dog.

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

We were sitting in silence in front of a cute two story home; painted white with red shutters. The lawn looked to have been mowed recently, the flower bushes in the front of the house looked to have been watered as well. We drove in silence for another 20 minutes after he dropped the bomb of where we were going. Now we sat here staring at this house for the last five minutes. The neighborhood was cute and looked like a place where people respected another. No crazy Burg gossipers, people wave to one another and always happy to help if you run into a simple issue in front of your home.

The whole street felt homey and comforting, except this house. The home itself looked really nice; if someone were to drive by they wouldn't think anything peculiar about it. It fit right into this little sanctuary; but there was something eerie about the darkness through the windows. I couldn't describe it; and it left me with a million questions. But I didn't want to break the silence or Ranger's concentration. Since we pulled up, his eyes hadn't strayed from the place in front of us.

I waited a couple more minutes; but I had reached my max. "Are we going in?"

Ranger shook his head; eyes never leaving the house. "Not yet."

"Is this…the Bat Cave?" I never pictured something so…domestic.

"Don't forget—you named it that." There was a hint of a smile in his voice.

"So this is it?"

Ranger nodded. "I bought this home for Desiree and I." I felt my heart sink into my stomach. Ranger's true _home_ wasn't just _his_—it was _theirs_.

"Oh." I added lamely; unable to say anything else.

Ranger let out a sigh and let his eyes drop from the house and look down at the steering wheel.

"I was in love with her, Stephanie. Since I can remember Desiree was the only woman I wanted. We grew up together and we always had this…this chemistry. I didn't understand why I was so _addicted_ to this one person; but she felt the same way about me, so we never questioned it. Like Desi told you—we fought; a lot. But then we would always find our way back to one another. One of our worst fights was before I left to do my whole military thing. I told her we were over for good—that I was fed up with all the bullshit that came along with our relationship."

Ranger let his head drop lower before he lifted it and stared out the window. There was nothing interesting to see; so I was sure he was seeing his past vividly playing back in his mind.

"I was so angry with her. I never really knew what started our fights but the last fight was different. It felt like she was through with me before I even said anything—and I was so terrified of actually losing her. So when I had time to visit people I went down to Miami to stay with some family. I spent pretty much that entire time in a bar getting so drunk—that's where I met Rachel. She was there with some friends that wanted her to loosen up and have a good time. Well, I saw that as a challenge and decided to put my efforts into capturing another woman—instead of being miserable over the same one I was hurting for. "

He shook his head clearly disgusted with the memories. I wanted to reach out to him and console him—but I didn't want to pull him out of the past. As much as this hurt, I needed to know.

"I was back on duty when Rachel wrote me and told me she was pregnant with my child. I immediately put in for time off; told them my girl was pregnant and I needed a couple days. Instead of going to Rachel—I went to Desiree. I was a fucking mess when I saw her; we weren't together anymore but I felt like I had betrayed her. That was supposed to be _our_ child. I hardly knew Rachel, other than she was from a very religious family. I wasn't in love with Rachel like I was with Desiree; so even though I knew it hurt Desiree to talk to her about this, I needed her. That was when she told me I needed to do right by Rachel and my child. She told me to suck it up—be a man. Not just that—but be a _father_."

I could feel the sting of tears rising in my throat; this sad story wasn't going to end happily. And I wasn't sure if I could handle the truth about Desiree. Ranger's eyes darted down to his left hand ring finger. There was nothing there but the way he stared at the empty space on his finger; I wondered if the wedding ring was forever permanently present there as a reminder of his past.

"I told Rachel we would get married; and I would help her financially. That we would make it work. Before we got married I found this house and bought it for Desiree. We would constantly take drives everywhere; and one time we drove through this neighborhood. She yelled for me to stop—so in the middle of the street I screeched to a stop, expecting a kid to run out in front of the car for a ball or something. I remember looking over at her about to yell at her for doing that, but she had the biggest smile on her face. Her eyes completely took in every square inch of the block and she sighed and turned to me. I still remember exactly what she said."

_"Do you feel it, Ricky?"_

_"Feel what, Des?"_

_"This is it—this is the perfect place for me to raise my family. Someday I'm going to buy a house on this very block, Ricky, and I'm going to feel safe knowing my kids had somewhere to play. I'll have a lawn mower, and kind neighbors, maybe a couple cats and dogs. Definitely a bunny—I've always wanted a bunny. This is like paradise for those with dreams like mine."_

Ranger smiled as he repeated their conversation.

"We never talked about it again—until I bought this one for her. Desiree fought me on accepting it—but I told her I would always love her and _always_ want her dreams to come true. I begged her to let me make at least _this_ dream come true. She accepted it and I went off to my new life. I never thought I'd see Desiree again. The pain in her eyes was unbearable when we said goodbye—I couldn't see that again."

"I stayed with Rachel until Julie was born. I gave Julie my name and about a month later Rachel told me she wanted a divorce. It shocked the hell out of me—I knew her family didn't accept the path of divorce. When I asked her why, she told me because I was hopelessly in love with someone else. And she didn't want to simply be stuck with someone because of a child. We both needed a chance to be happy. Well as soon as the divorce went through I raced to Desiree's place."

"Needless to say, we got back together and for a few months things were great. But there was something strange about her. There was something or someone in her past that she was keeping from me. I knew she was hiding something but I didn't ask. It just didn't feel right; I had been married to a woman having my child. As much as I wanted to think of Desiree as _just_ my woman; I wasn't naïve enough to think she had been with no one else."

Ranger's hands tightened on the steering wheel—the part I was afraid to hear was coming up. I wrapped my arms around my stomach and grabbed a handful of my sweatshirt with both fists.

"I needed to leave for a few days to do something on base; she opted to stay behind. I left on a Friday and everything seemed fine. We were both happy to be with each other, bummed to spend a weekend apart, but already planning my return Sunday night. The time went by painfully slow but Sunday night as the cab was pulling up; it was already dark outside and the red and blue lights illuminated the neighborhood. I scanned the faces for Desiree—I figured she'd be right out there standing with the other neighbors trying to see what was going on."

"When I didn't see her at first I thought nothing of it; then the cab got closer to our house and I saw the crime tape. There were about 5 cop cars and an ambulance crowding our house, I ran from the cab before he could even stop. I demanded to know what happened and finally a police officer told me. Desiree had been murdered and…" He gulped back what I imagined to be built up tears and sorrow. "It was so _damn_ brutal. It's not like she was just shot and left for dead. Someone chased her around the whole damn house and used a knife to completely hack up her skin."

Ranger's head hit the steering wheel and his shoulders moved with his silent sobs; as I wiped away a few tears I couldn't hold back.

"They still don't know who did that and no one in the neighborhood saw anything. Trust me, I questioned them all about a thousand times but it was no use. Not only was the woman I loved killed; but I never let myself forget that I could have prevented it. If _only_ I would have asked what happened while we were apart. I have never let myself forget or move away from the night. Even after the crime lab was done; I had the place cleaned. They couldn't get the blood stains out of the carpets. They recommended new ones—but I said no. I wanted to remember what Desiree went through. I keep up the upkeep of the place; neighbors have asked if I will sell the place. I'm sure they're tired of the morbid memories I'm keeping locked away here."

"Why haven't you sold it?" The question came out before I could stop it; but Ranger didn't look bothered by the question.

"A couple reasons. This was her dream; she wanted to live here and I feel like if I sell this place—I'm selling everything she was, everything she wanted. The other is as a reminder. Over the years I come here and go into the house, walking through the rooms to remember just _how_ dangerous of a life I lead. And _why_ I didn't want to be in a relationship with anyone. Why I refused to become the family man—that I have become."

"Every time I have sent you away from me Stephanie, was because I was falling more in love with you. I would come here and look around and I knew if I wasn't careful—it could be your blood forever stained in the carpet, and in my mind. I don't go in much; only when I need to realize the cold and honest truth of my life. I have no doubt Desiree's killer was from my past. Now I have only made more enemies and I now have this woman I can't stay away from. This crazy at times woman that I love more than anything; and her absolutely amazing daughter, who I consider my own."

My face whipped around to see his face; tears streaming relentlessly down my cheeks. Ranger laced his fingers with mine, placing a kiss on my fingers. Then he used his hand to brush away the tears that were beginning to stain my cheeks.

"You need to know why it took so long to make you mine, Stephanie. It wasn't because I didn't love you. Since the moment I saw you; I was in love. But being in love with you wasn't an option. Well I fell in love with you anyways, then I told myself _being_ with you was out of the question. Then I find out you're pregnant with Morelli's kid and I took that as a blessing. That was my guarantee that you would be safe from my past. When you moved to Wisconsin though I realized some of my biggest fears were coming alive. Not only was I _madly in love with you_, but I _needed_ you. Now here we are, and I feel like I am in the middle of this nightmare I can't escape from. I'm running towards the screams in the night and I never get there. I can't protect you and Aly is the way it feels and Steph—it is killing me."

I gave his hand a tight squeeze. We were both living in a nightmare; broken by a single moment that changed our futures forever. No matter what happened—I needed to find a way to wake us up from this terrible nightmare that has become our reality. Neither of us could suffer this way anymore.

"Stephanie?"

"Yeah?" I asked; looking into his eyes.

"I don't know how you would feel about this. Would you like to go inside now, and see my past?"

To hide from the past is only allowing it into your future. Whether or not I had the mental or emotional strength to do this; I knew my answer.

"Yes." We both moved to get out of the car and make our way into the personal hell Ranger has lived with for far too long. Whether this helped clear the demons or not—we would at least be in this together.

**A/N: I decided at the end of each chapter to include which story I will be updating next. For those of you following my multiple stories. My next story update will be Chapter 8 of this story.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: JE's characters—My version. **

Chapter Eight

Ranger walked around to my side of the car and reached out for my hand. The two of us walked with haste to the front door. With every step that brought us closer to the house, I felt my insides recoil. It was an out of body experience that I was just now waking up from. My need for information brought me face-to-face with Ranger's biggest secret and I wasn't sure how ready I was to deal with any of this. It wasn't just because this was where Desiree was murdered; but if I was completely _gut-wrenchingly _honest with myself—it was because they had been a family here. Ranger didn't hide the fact that he loved her, and his inability to sell this home and set her free told me he was _still_ in love with her. I just wasn't sure how much he loved her. Hell—I _still_ loved Morelli and I'm sure I always would, but I am not _in_ love with him. I was able to let go of the prospect of a future with him, and a large reason I did was because of my love for Ranger.

If I would have chosen Morelli over Ranger, in the end I would have been cheating Joe out. I would have been living a lie every time I said "I love you" because I know Ranger's face would always appear in my mind. So what was Desiree to him now? What was I? Was I simply the understudy of Desiree and Ranger's love story?

We reached the front door and I worked double time to keep my unwelcome feelings at bay. I knew if Ranger thought I couldn't handle this he would continue trying to protect me from it. I couldn't handle that, even if what waited for me on the other side of the door shattered my heart to pieces. Ranger inserted the little silver key in the dead lock, the sound rang in my ears breaking through the silence surrounding us.

He stopped and turned to face me; his eyes were cautious as he took in my expression.

"I want you to know; I haven't changed anything in here. Everything is the way Desiree left it and well…she liked to decorate." I nodded once, but found myself wondering what he meant by 'decorate'. As Ranger turned the key I no longer had to wonder anymore; the answers to my questions were mere inches from me.

The door creaked open and Ranger stepped through first and after taking one more deep breath—I followed. The sun outside was illuminating the room without the need for turning on a lamp. We stepped into the living room where a large couch and a couple chairs sat facing the old style tube TV. Beyond the living room I could see was where the kitchen was and to my immediate right were the stairs leading to the second story. There was an eerie feel in the place; this house was stuck in a time capsule with the rest of the world moving on outside of these walls.

Ranger stood quickly watching me take everything in and when I was about to move around something caught my eye. Above the couch was a large blown up picture of a couple close up leaning in for a kiss. I swallowed back a big lump when I realized it was Desiree and Ranger in the picture. Their lips were centimeters apart and they both had a smile that even in the picture produced this glow of affection around each other.

My feet had a mind of their own as I walked closer to examine the image; that was when I noticed around the entire place were framed pictures. I looked over every one taking in the sight of a couple head over heels in love with each other. It was hard to recognize Ranger in these pictures. The man in these pictures was clearly the same Ranger standing quietly in the room scrutinizing my every move now—but this was Desiree's man. Among the many photos were a couple of them as kids in the growing up stage; and one of Desiree in a cap and gown standing next to Ranger…and Tank. There was a huge smile painted on her flawless face and it was clear she was standing on a chair and had her arms wrapped around the guys' shoulders. Even the typical stoic faces of these two were fixed into a bright and genuine smile.

Another picture caught my attention—neither were paying attention to the camera. They stood facing each other and Desiree's head was tipped up to see Ranger with her hands resting on his waist. His mouth was on hers and his hands held either side of her face; the two were locked in what looked to be a passionate kiss. My heart sank as I stared at this picture. Desiree and Ranger fit together so perfectly, and even from just a few pictures; they passion they shared was so intense I could feel it surrounding every part of this room.

I looked over to Ranger and caught him staring at the picture before looking at me again.

"You really loved each other." He nodded and looked away as if he felt guilty to admit it. I wanted to say something witty and funny to lighten the mood and let him know that it was in the past and didn't bother me. Sure it was hard to look at these pictures, but Ranger has had to _watch_ Morelli and me time and time again. But even knowing all of that—I couldn't. I couldn't get the words out to even say, _I'm glad she made you happy_.

I looked away from Ranger and my gaze strayed to the carpet and that was when I saw it: the stains. It's a wonder how I didn't notice it sooner; the stains look to start from the back of the house where a very large pool of red blood stained the floor. Then a trail of blood that thickened in certain spots led towards the stairs. My feet subconsciously followed the trail up the steps and down the small hallway and I stopped at the closed door. Ranger cleared his throat behind me.

"That's the bedroom." I placed my hand on the doorknob and paused before turning it.

"Can I?"

"Yes."

When I opened the door I thought I was going to be sick; the simple trail of blood leading into the room was _nothing_ compared to the disaster that I was now looking at. Just about every square inch of carpet in this room was stained with blood; the walls, closet doors and every piece of furniture had splatters of red—all evidence from that fateful night.

My hand flew up to my mouth—I couldn't even step into the room. I pressed my back against the wall in the hallway and slid down to a crouch. Ranger shut the door and crouched in front of me, carefully placing his hands on my thighs.

"I'm sorry you had to see that."

"I'm sorry you had to _live_ that." I said without thinking. "They never found out who did that to her?"

"No." I met his eyes for a moment before looking away; it didn't feel right being here anymore. When my gaze shifted to the wall opposite where I sat there were more framed photos of Desiree and Ranger. Suddenly I felt like I had to vomit—and I wasn't sure if that was because of the massacre scene I just saw; or of all the photos of the two of them displayed everywhere.

"I need air." Ranger stood and grabbed my hand pulling me up with him. We walked outside and I continued to the car while he made sure the house was locked up. I leaned against the car waiting for Ranger; he beeped it unlock and I slid into my seat slipping on the dark shaded sunglasses I kept in his car. A few tears slid down my cheek and I quickly swiped them away before Ranger took his spot behind the wheel.

Ranger started the car but I saw him turn towards me and pull down my glasses; turning me to face him.

"Tell me what you're thinking, babe." What I was really thinking was; I feel like I am sitting in this car with someone else's man. How was keeping this house, and this secret from me a sign to me that he was over her? To me this _screamed_ that he longed for her still. I couldn't blame him for missing her or being heartbroken that she was killed—and the _way_ she was killed. But what was I _really_ to him now? Was I his replacement Desiree, or was I really a woman that he fell in love with? I didn't feel that this was the time to bring this up to him so I did what I was famous for—and pushed it to the back of my mind.

"Thank you for letting me in. I know it isn't easy but it means a lot to see the wizard behind the curtain."

"Babe…" I could sense he wasn't _just_ referring to the vast amounts of blood—but also to the 'decorations' Desiree put up. It was easy to avoid it if I wasn't being asked about it. If he started questioning me about what I thought of seeing the way the two of them were—I would be a total wreck.

"Can you bring me home please, Ranger?" I offered up a weak smile and after a few moments nodded reluctantly, put the car in gear, and headed home.

Ranger kept his eyes on the road in his usual fashion; while I stared out the window, quietly. I really didn't want Ranger to regret showing me the biggest secret of his past but I had no idea what to even say to him. Whatever I ended up saying I wanted it to come from my heart and mean something; but right now I couldn't find those words if they were smacking me in the face.

We pulled up at my house and Ranger moved to unclick his seatbelt; my hand quickly reached over and stopped him. His eyes met with a pain that made me think I had stabbed a knife into his hand, and didn't just brush my hand with his.

"I'd like to be alone right now."

Ranger closed his eyes and a subtle breath escaped. "I can't leave unless I know we're okay." He opened his eyes again and I saw the hurt of my rejection. My hand moved from the seatbelt to touch his face.

"We're okay, baby. I love you; I just need to go inside and digest all of this right now." His hands clutched onto my shirt and pulled me into his lap and he buried his face in my neck.

"Stephanie, I know seeing those pictures of Desiree and I must have hurt. I just need you to know that I love _you_, every single part of you. And the thought of losing you kills me, babe. I'm sure seeing another woman in my life feels somewhat like seeing Morelli in your life feels like to me. But you need to know that you are the best part of my life—you are the best part of me." I looked into his eyes and I knew everything he was saying was the truth.

My lips found his and since I couldn't speak without my voice sounding shaky and unsure I kissed him. He needed to know that while I was hurting; it didn't change the way I felt about him. His arms squeezed me tighter as we kissed—reluctant to let me leave the car. I was breathless when I pulled away and we were both smiling.

"You may want to take the scenic route back to RangeMan. They may never let you live this one down." I said slightly moving my hips over one of my very favorite and very hard parts of this man.

"Why don't you let me come in and help me get it down."

"Tempting." I said, licking my lips. Very tempting—but I knew Desiree was still in my house and I promised her I wouldn't get _too friendly_ with Ranger at home. "Rain check." I placed a kiss on his lips and removed myself from his lap and moved to leave the car.

Ranger caught my wrist and I turned to face him; his dark eyes were narrowed with an insane amount of desire that left me reconsidering my promise to Desiree.

"Count on it." He kissed me once again and let me leave the car. I hurried inside, afraid my self-control was going to have me running back to his car and finish what we started.

Desiree was standing by the entryway when I entered the house and just the sight of her made my foolish tears fall relentlessly. When I looked at her, every photo of her and Ranger flashed into my mind. If only I could go back to before when I was blissfully ignorant to this other side of things; and especially to this other woman that I always told myself wasn't Ranger's type. Which in fact—she was _exactly_ Ranger's type—the two of them together looked like the true definition of meant to be.

"I've been going absolutely _insane_ since you left, Stephanie! What the hell happened—is Aly…okay?" I nodded and wiped away my tears with the back of my sleeve.

"She's okay; she wanted to be with Joe. But Ranger took me to your house." Desiree's face smoothed away the worry and it was replaced with pity.

"Oh."

"Yeah." I said sniffling back my tears. The sectional couch was the only place I wanted to be right now; so I grabbed one of my blankets and curled up. Desiree sat on the other end and watched me sob away like an idiot.

"Stephanie…I'm sorry you had to see all that." She finally said, sounding surprisingly sincere.

"Yeah, it was a lot of blood." Of course, my tears had nothing to do with _that_ part of what I saw.

Desiree rolled her eyes and shook her head at me. "I'm sure that's not the first time you've seen blood. That is the first time you've seen any photos of me and him though. The last time he went to the house was before he left for his last assignment—I tagged along. He hasn't changed anything or took down any of the pictures I put up of the two of us."

"You guys looked so happy."

"We were." She sighed. "But Steph, don't think that means he doesn't love you. I know I have done nothing but given you shit about how he doesn't really love you. But I don't mean it—I'm just so _goddamn_ jealous of you." I looked at her through the tears and saw the same expression of hurt on her face that I've recognized as the look on my face whenever it came to losing Ranger.

"Funny—cause here I am… jealous of you."

"I may be his past. But you're his future."

We both sat there sadly and hopelessly in love with the same man.

"Steph, we need to figure out what happened. I can't stay around anymore—it's time for all of us to move on."

"I have an idea to help us figure out who killed you—and who attacked me."

Desiree sat up a little straighter and cocked her head. "I'm intrigued—so tell me, oh wise one, how do we figure this out?"

**_Sorry this isn't the longest chapter. I don't have a ton of time but wanted to give you guys something! :)_**

**A/N: The next update will be Chapter 13 of There Forever.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: JE's characters—My version**

**Author's Note:** Oh my gosh! I can **_not_** believe it has been so long that I have updated! It was like one thing led to another and my week break turned into… much much longer! PLEASE PLEASE forgive me! I have missed you all! And my goal is to update one chapter of each story and then begin the pattern again. Know that I have missed you sooooo much! And I hope you enjoy everything I have to offer! =D

Chapter Nine:

_"Steph, we need to figure out what happened. I can't stay around anymore—it's time for all of us to move on."_

_"I have an idea to help us figure out who killed you—and who attacked me."_

_Desiree sat up a little straighter and cocked her head. "I'm intrigued—so tell me, oh wise one, how do we figure this out?"_

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

It was only a few strands of hope I was holding on to for this idea to work. But it was all we had to go on right now. Desiree sat silently but I could see it was taking all her strength to keep from blurting out and pushing me to explain faster.

"So as you know, every time I ask you something about that night you freeze up and can't answer me?"

"Yeah, why?"

"All along I've been thinking of that as this huge setback for us. Well it doesn't have to be—not if we know how to use it." Des raised an eyebrow and cocked her head at me.

"I'm not following."

"What if I ask questions and pay attention to the ones you can't answer and slowly fill in the blanks of that night." The initial realization I had was now present on Desiree's face. She was just as sure about this as I was.

"Nice work, Plum! Well ask away!" We readjusted our positions on the couch so we faced each other with our legs crossed in a pretzel posture.

"Okay, first question. Was this a random act?"

"No."

"Was the person who did this to you, female?"

"Nope."

I knew it was a man of course, there was only one other choice. But I more wanted to test out my theory with something as simple as gender first.

"Was the person male?" I watched as Des moved her mouth to answer but instead she froze up. Nothing came out and after the moment passed—both our faces broke into a smile wider than ever before. It worked.

For the first time since Desiree's appearance into my life—she had hope. "Keep asking me questions, Steph! Please!"

I jumped up and ran to the kitchen and grabbed one of Aly's Hello Kitty notebooks from the kitchen counter and booked it back. I didn't want to forget a single part of this conversation—especially if this would lead to the safety of all I loved.

"Was there more than one more in on the attack that night?"

"No."

"Did Ranger know him?" Desiree's mouth froze up; I wrote _yes_ on the notebook page.

"At the time, were you two in a relationship?"

"No."

"Had you been together in the past?"

"No."

"Before that night had he been violent towards you?"

"No."

"Did you two only know each other for a short amount of time?"

"No."

"Did this guy dislike Ranger?" No answer—yes.

The questions persisted but I was even more confused than before. I for once had some concrete solid information about this person—but the amount I didn't know kept growing. How is it that someone could be so close to Ranger's woman and dislike him—but Ranger wouldn't even know about him? While I didn't know 100% that Ranger didn't know about this guy, I also knew Ranger would have done all he could up till now. No stone left unturned. So this guy had to have been lurking in the shadows enough to not make a lasting imprint on Ranger's mind. But close enough to have a large enough part of Desiree's life.

After the questioning, I tried not to let Des see how bummed I was about the lack of information still. But I had a feeling she could sense my disappointment. I ripped out the page now filled front to back with random notes, and replaced the notebook on the counter. There was some more searching I wanted to do online—but I knew anything done here was being tracked by RangeMan. And this was definitely _not_ something I wanted them to see.

"I'm heading out, I'll be back later tonight." Desiree nodded as she laid back against the couch.

"Are you coming back with him tonight?" I could see how much it took out of her to ask that, and I couldn't help but feel her pain too.

"I really don't know."

"Okay, well just if you do…"

"You won't have to worry about that." I said to finish her thought. I couldn't put my worst enemy through that—and Desiree was no longer in the running for that position.

"Thank you." I nodded and gave her a little wave before leaving.

The local library had numerous computers people were allowed to use for a limited amount of time for the internet access. So after signing in at the desk I began my searches into past heartache. Desiree was right—there was absolutely no article online about the accident or anything else around that time. But that wasn't the reason I was even here right now. I didn't expect to have the information handed to me, but I knew enough to find it myself. I was positive Ranger, Desiree and this man all went to the same schools growing up. There was no other way I could think of all of them knowing each other for many years at a young age.

I began doing general searches of middle schools in the area they grew up in. There were two potential choices, next was to go to a school site and look for potential numbers to contact someone looking for past students names. I'm sure looking for a high school would have been easier but there were far too many high schools in the area. And I didn't want to continue asking questions to Desiree about this today. And there was no way I could ask Ranger anything without him immediately becoming suspicious of my reasons for asking.

After an hour of searching numerous sites, my internet usage had timed out. As reluctant as I was to call it a day—I also had no other choice at the moment. I couldn't help my downer mood and there was only one thing right now that could fix this. My Aly.

She was still with Morelli, so I hopped back into my car, and headed to his place. When I was only a few blocks away from his house my phone rang, and instinctively I knew who it was.

"Babe." Ranger said when I answered the phone.

"Yo." I said with a smile.

"What are you doing tonight?"

"I'm almost to Morelli's—not that I needed to tell you where I was, as I'm sure the trackers are doing that for you."

"It's for your protection, Babe."

"So I've heard."

"How long will you be with him?"

"I'm not sure, I'm picking up Aly then probably going to just head home."

"Do I get an invite?"

"To Morelli's?"

"No, to be with you when you head home."

"No official business you need to do tonight?"

"I'm pretty sure I've let official business get in the way far too many times in my life. I don't want to do that anymore." I couldn't help but smile.

"Well, you are tracking my car so when I leave Morelli's, feel free to head over whenever."

"Count on it, Babe."

"See ya." I was about to hang up but Ranger added in one more thing before I could.

"I love you, Steph."

"I love you too, Carlos."

I pulled up behind Morelli's Explorer and let myself into his house. Bob was curled up at the foot of the couch while Aly sat on Joe's lap and read one of her books to him. All three stopped what they were doing to turn their attention towards me.

"Hi Mommy." Aly said but went back to reading the book.

"How's it going, Cupcake?"

"Alright, just came to pick up Aly."

"Do I have to go, Mommy?" Joe's mouth twitched up into a smile but I couldn't help but be a little offended.

"You don't want to come be with me?"

"Can Bob and Daddy come?"

"Honey, I'm sure they have other plans tonight."

"I'm sorry Princess, but your mom is right. I have to go into work tonight." Morelli stood up and lifted Aly up with him, holding her close.

"But Daddy, I want to stay here with you!" Aly whined against Joe's neck.

"Well I won't be here baby girl, but why don't you and mommy take Bob tonight?"

"Can we!" Aly shimmied her way out of Joe's arms and ran to me. Her little hands clutched the bottom of my sweatshirt and her puppy dog eyes stared up at me.

"Oh please Mommy! Can we? Can we? Can we?" My eyes met Joe's and narrowed at him as I saw the beaming smile on his face. If I turned her down now there was no way I was going to be anywhere near Joe for the running of "Favorite Parent."

"Sure Aly baby, we can take Bob."

"Yay!" Aly ran over to Bob and threw her arms around him. Morelli walked over to me as I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Have fun tonight, Cupcake." He said with a smile as he slung an arm around my shoulders.

"Just so you know—Bob ruins anything in my house, and you'll be getting the bill."

"No problem."

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

We pulled up at our house and Ranger stepped out of the front door and stood on the step with his arms crossed, in typical Ranger fashion. I gave him a wave as I went to get Aly out of her car seat. Once she was set onto the ground, Bob ran out after her and the two ran off towards the backyard. Ranger's stoic expression was interrupted by a single eyebrow raising at me. I walked up to him and put on my biggest smile while he stared me down.

"Babe."

"Hey." I said as innocently as possible.

"I thought we talked about getting a dog already."

"We're not keeping him, but Joe kinda volunteered him to come over here."

"And he knew you couldn't say no." It wasn't a question.

"Pretty much." Ranger's arms reached out to grab hold of the pocket of my sweatshirt and pull me in closer to him.

"You're too good to others, Babe."

"I just like to make others happy." Ranger's lips lowered towards mine but paused before they actually made contact.

"Let me be the one to make you happy." His mouth pressed against mine and I realized the _other_ meaning to what he said. And as much as my body wanted and _knew_ Ranger could make me happy. I just couldn't give in right now, there was Aly and Bob in the backyard, not to mention Desiree stuck inside. Ranger felt my hesitation and pulled his lips away but kept his arms around me as we headed to the backyard.

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

Over the next few days things seemed…normal—better than normal actually. Aly missed Bob after he went home but loved having Ranger around. And during the few times we both made it over to RangeMan while Aly was with my mom—Ranger made good on his promise to make me happy.

At night Aly and Ranger were both at my house with me and I (for once) was sleeping peacefully and at ease with Ranger next to me. I knew I would always be taken care of next to him, but better than that, I knew Aly would be safe too.

Things seemed so normal that I almost forgot about my ongoing search to find the guy that had left all I cared about, stuck in this awful nightmare. Every time I was alone though, Desiree would come out of the basement and not let me forget the importance of continuing my search. I promised her though that I would take care of it.

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo OoOoO**

Saturday morning I woke up next to Ranger, with Aly over at Joe's house again. I could feel just how much Ranger liked waking up next to me, but he had slowly figured out that even if Aly wasn't there—we weren't going to go past that step in the house. But something had come over both of us and we ended up together in the shower. It was so bittersweet. Anything physical with Ranger was amazing but I really did want to respect Desiree. I knew she didn't want to be here, but had no choice in the matter. And even when it was just me she didn't come up to simply hang out with me like before. So the guilt eating away at me this morning made a trip to Tasty Pastry an essential thing.

I ended up with every one of my favorites and couldn't help but dig in the second I got the bag. When I left through the doors of the bakery I still had my face in the bag of goodies. Which ended up causing me to bump into someone as I left.

"Pardon me." The guy's voice said to me and I mumbled sorry back with a mouth full of donut. That's when it hit me. I dropped my bag and I felt my entire body freeze up. That voice. I knew that voice. It was _him_. I could never forget that cryptic voice and the way it made the hairs on the back of my neck stand straight up.

My eyes darted around looking for where the man went, but he was no where. I ran up and down the street searching and pleading that I didn't let him slip through my fingers again. He was teasing me. This was a game to him, and this was my reminder that the game isn't over yet.


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: JE's characters—My version**

**Author's Note:** Well I have officially reached finals week! I finished everything for two classes and only have 1 more to go. I suppose I could be studying for that right now…buuuuut I'm tired of reading, taking notes and remembering for the day. SO I'm writing for all of you instead! We're coming to the end of this FF and I have decided—due to everything else I am working on, this will be the final one in this set. I don't think it's fair of me to write so many and not update for so long. But I will still have my other two FFs going!

Thank you all for staying so loyal to reading and reviewing when I do update. It means so much to have you there!

**Enjoy!**

Chapter Ten

**Ranger's POV**

My office was dark and quiet as I sat with my face in my hands. I hated myself and whoever the hell was doing this to my family. One day things are great between Stephanie and I; Aly is safe and happy, all seems right. The next, everything changes. Stephanie has yet to tell me what happened to her, she would always say respond _nothing_ when I would ask. Either she had every intention of keeping this from me—or she truly believed I was stupid enough to think something wasn't wrong.

Stephanie reverted back to the way she was when I first returned back home. Every time I saw her it killed me inside a little more each day. Her body flinched at my touch, she shied away from leaving the house and even Aly was worried about her mother now. At nights she was sleeping—only if I was in bed next to her. Before she fell asleep the most contact she would let us have was lying side-by-side but as the night progressed she curled into me more.

If I had it my way, I'd be at her side every moment of the day. But now more than ever before was business blooming. We've been adding more accounts and these days we were needed for high end apprehensions. Not only were we busier but it was all the stuff Stephanie excelled at doing that put us behind. As much as we needed her, my men knew better than to ask me if she was coming back to work.

There was a soft knock on my door but I didn't bother to life my head.

"Got a minute?" It was Tank and I wanted to tell him to leave me the hell alone, but didn't.

"What?" I lifted my head and knew by just looking at Tank I wasn't going to like his news.

"An FTA showed up in California, you need to go pick him up."

"Why can't you?"

"Because, while your mind is elsewhere, I've been running things. Maybe getting on a plane will clear your head."

"What about Stephanie?" If Tank showed emotions, he would have rolled his eyes.

"You know every single person here will protect her."

This was true; I had to admit that much. "Fine, when do I leave?"

"Tonight."

With that Tank left my office as I blew out a sigh. This was coming at the worst possible time but Tank was right—he had been taking over more than his share. RangeMan was my company too and I couldn't just walk away from my responsibilities. At least that was what I had to tell myself.

I pulled up my screen to show where Stephanie's car was. Her car was at home—big surprise, and I'll bet she's sitting at that damn window again like a zombie. With the touch of a button the screen locked and went dark.

Driving over to my Babe's house was something I had done a million times and even if I were to completely zone out—I'd still get there. This time though in the pits of my stomach I felt something was off. Maybe it was just because I knew I'd be leaving her for a couple of days. At least, that was what I told myself. If I let myself think of all the possible reasons for the feeling, nothing would ever get done.

**Stephanie's POV**

I stared out my bedroom window, the way I have for months now. It felt pathetic to be back here but I couldn't help myself. Over the past week I feel like I have seen this man all over the place. He was everywhere. The supermarket, the backseat of my car, the bank, in my dreams. I couldn't escape him any longer, so here I sat waiting for his return. At least in my home I knew I couldn't have a meltdown that all of the Burg would know about 2 minutes later. Desiree sat across from me on the bench but she no longer made me feel like a foolish person. We had become, dare I say it—friends. She sympathized with the nightmare surrounding me, as I sympathized with her.

The sound of a door from the main level echoed throughout the silent house. Desiree perked up as my protective watchdog, taking it upon herself she disappeared to see who it was. Just as fast as she left, she returned to the seat across from me.

"Ranger." She mouthed to me, gazing out the window again.

It was who I figured it would be but for the first time since meeting him—I didn't want to see him. Ranger knew me as this strong, independent, fearless woman and amazing mother. Maybe it was the way I was feeling about myself but I could feel the disappointment dripping off of him. Ranger stopped about 5 feet from me; he knew not to get too close anymore. My body was oversensitive and the slightest touch sent me into overdrive.

"Babe."

"Hmm?" My head turned to see him.

"I need to go to California to pick up a skip. I'll be back in a couple days."

"Alright." I turned my gaze back out the window.

"You'll call Tank if you have any problems, right?"

"Of course." My voice couldn't be more deadpanned if I tried.

Ranger cautiously approached me and let his hand form to my face. "I love you, Babe." He placed a kiss on my lips and backed away enough to see into my eyes. Every time he did this it looked like he was searching for something. Hope, maybe? It was hard to say but with a sigh and another kiss on my forehead he left. Once the door shut behind him Desiree turned to me with sorrow in her eyes.

"You know this silent thing you're doing is killing him."

"It's better this way."

"What are you talking about!"

"Nothing." I mumbled, not in the mood to divulge the inner workings of my mind. Desiree returned to looking back out the window but not more than a minute later whipped her head back to me, her jaw dropped low.

"That's it—isn't it?"

"What?"

"You're planning on killing yourself?"

"No."

"But you're going to let him kill you, aren't you? Whenever that crazy fucker shows up, you're going to let him win."

There was no point to answer; no one would understand my reasoning. No matter how crazy it sounded. This was the only way out I saw for the memories now haunting my every breath.

"That's it; you're just going to give up! You're going to let this guy take away your life and you're going to just leave behind everyone that loves you!?"

"Who says I'm living right now!" The anger I felt took me by surprise, but I was suddenly on my feet staring her down. "Every single day I am surrounded by these memories and the past things I have seen! I don't know if this will ever end, so I plan to end it!"

"What about Ranger? What about your daughter, Stephanie!?"

_Oh-my sweet, sweet angel. _It wasn't that I wanted to leave my beautiful Aly behind—but how was _this _being the mother I was supposed to be?

"What kind of mother am I, Des? I'm not living? I'm afraid of just about everything—it's like I'm already dead!"

Desiree stood and looked at me with a look of disappointment that I had never before seen.

"But you're not dead. If I could have just one day to talk to the ones I loved again—I'd give anything. And here you are, throwing that all away. You're nothing but a coward." With that Desiree left my side. I knew she was still somewhere in the house, but I had no reason to follow after her. Maybe I was a coward, but I knew I had reason why I was doing this. And no matter what the outcome, I knew I was nothing but a living corpse until this madness was over.

-0o0o-o0o0o-o0o0o-

Aly was with Joe the first night Ranger was gone and as much as I thought the silence was all I wanted—I was wrong. Desiree had yet to reappear by my side since our 'disagreement' and even after my poor attempts to draw her out, I was alone. Ranger had yet to call me but I didn't necessarily expect a call from him—I wasn't exactly warm and fuzzy when he left. I'm sure he was once again giving me the space he knew I needed. But I was lonely.

During the day I tried to find something to do to keep myself busy. Did the menial tasks I had been neglecting; put away clean clothes, straightened both our bedrooms, cleaned the bathroom. Nothing made me feel better so by 5 that night I found myself in the car and on my way to Morelli's house. I didn't bother calling to ask if he was home, or minded me stopping by. Morelli was really good about keeping me up to date whenever the two of them left the house. Sometimes it was an overabundance of information but other times it made me smile.

_We're about to go for a walk, short one, nothing major._

_Well we're still on our walk. Bob has decided now is the perfect time to empty everything in his stomach._

_So we're back but Aly says she wants to go out to get some food. I'll let you know where we decide to go, if you want to join us. _

The days I wasn't a walking corpse I would sometimes respond with some smart ass, classic 'me' answer.

_Well, I'm hanging out in my living room, but I'm debating about going into the kitchen. I'll keep you posted._

_Okay, ended up in the kitchen. Grabbing a few donuts and a coke. _

Being Morelli he didn't get irritated by my responses but instead responded with some equally smart-ass comment.

_Easy on those donuts, Cupcake. You don't want to have an actual cupcake hanging over your jeans. _

_Keep me updated on whether you end up upstairs—it's important to share those things._

Aly was Morelli's world and I knew that just as well as anyone else in his life now. Morelli went from being the hard-working, best ass, looked-better-with-age, bachelor. To the dedicated single father who would take a bullet for the most adorable little girl this state had ever seen. While we were still close, I knew he had to be lonely for that relationship we once had.

Part of me still wondered what it might be like to end up the happy family but I could never truly forget Ranger. So I hoped that someday soon Joe could find someone that loved him the way he deserved. There was a small piece of me that expected the surge of jealousy to arrive if that day came. To think of another woman spending time with my beautiful Aly and _my_ Morelli, but I had no right. I gave up that life for my life with Ranger, and recently I had been doing a great job of screwing that up.

Morelli's Explorer was parked in the driveway and from inside the house I could hear loud music, a squealing Aly and a barking Bob. They were either having a great time together, or were in the middle of some crazy catastrophe. I figured I'd risk my chances on walking in on the possibly crazy scene. I knocked once but purely for effect, I was going to enter either time.

The scene I walked in on made my face break into an unexpected smile. Joe had one of Aly's hands in his as he twirled her around to the music; Bob barked and jumped around them. While all of this was wonderful, it was still nothing compared to the awesome costumes they were all wearing. Aly was dressed in one of her all pink big Princess dresses with a tiara on the top of her head. Another one of her crowns with pink at the base sat on Bob's head while Joe was dressed up in a couple pink feather boas.

I went from having a large smile on my face to doubling over in a deep genuine laughter I hadn't experienced in so long. My knees dropped to the floor as I continued laughing even after the music was turned off.

"Mommy!" Aly squealed as she ran over to join me on the floor.

"Glad to see you're enjoying the show, Cupcake." I looked up and saw Joe's hands on his hips with the boa still in place, which only made this moment funnier.

"Thank you for making my day." Aly threw her arms around my shoulders as I stood, taking her with me.

"What are you doing here?" Morelli asked, slinking his boas around my shoulders.

"Just came to…hang out. If that's okay of course, I mean it's your day with her." Aly ran up to her room with Bob close behind. Morelli smiled as he walked over to me, his arms wrapping tight around me.

"You're always welcome here, Steph—you know that." Joe placed a kiss on the top of my head. For a few minutes I let myself sink into his arms, letting his strength hold me up in more ways than one.

"Where's Ranger Danger today?" In the past anytime Joe would ask about Ranger, he asked while never making eye contact. Today, he kept me tight in his arms, sensing I'm sure that I needed comfort more than anything right now.

"California, picking up a skip."

"Saving the world as usual huh?" I nodded into his chest; an overwhelming sense of emotion struck me. Before I knew it I was sobbing, soaking Joe's great fitting soft cotton shirt. One hand rubbed my back while the other smoothed my hair. After a few minutes I pulled away and wiped my eyes with my sweatshirt sleeve.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me."

Morelli stepped towards me, closing the distance between us, his hands framing my face. "I do. You're human, Cupcake, and you are in the middle of something pretty terrifying."

I squeezed my eyes shut; trying my hardest to prevent any more tears from rolling out. When I opened them, Joe was staring down at me in a look I haven't seen in months. His smoky brown eyes looked from my eyes down to my lips, back to my eyes. Without control I did the same and couldn't help but notice how tempting his lips were. I wasn't sure which of us took a step closer but we both moved our lips till we could feel each other's warm breath. Joe stared at me with an intense gaze before leaning down to close the space between us.

He never did make it though, as the sound of Bob's bark made us jump apart. "Everything okay up there, Princess?" Joe yelled up to her, as I removed myself from his arms and plopped down on the couch.

"Yeah daddy!" Morelli sat down on the chair kiddie corner from the couch—which was probably safest at this point.

In all the months of Ranger's absence I never before had let myself get that close to experiencing anything physical with Morelli. We had worked out a great friendship and it was one of the best parts of my life. Then Ranger returned and I was more than satisfied with that man in my life. So why was I suddenly letting myself slip up where my men were concerned. Hadn't I learned my lesson in the past?

"Do you mind if I hang out with you guys today? I just don't want to be alone." Morelli stood up with sympathy in his eyes. In a couple steps he closed the space between us once more. I remained frozen to my spot as Joe placed a hand on either side of my face, leaning in once more.

"Stephanie, you're my best friend, not to mention the mother of my child. You never have to ask to be here." His lips leaned in again, but this time safely reached my forehead.

Throughout the day I was able to escape some of the fears in my life. Being here warmed up my soul in a way I had needed desperately. Between Aly, Joe and I—there wasn't a moment of silence as we ordered Pino's, played a Princess memory game and popped in a movie. During the film, Bob curled up on the oversized chair as Aly sat in the middle of Joe and I on the couch. All our legs were stretched across Joe's coffee table, while Aly held the bowl of popcorn in her lap. A few times Joe's outstretched arm over the back of the couch would play with a strand of my hair, or rub my shoulders. But every time I glanced in his direction he seemed at peace, as if the gesture was done naturally and not for any ulterior motive.

After the movie Joe took control of getting Aly ready for bed; tucking in both her and Bob in his own bed. When he came back down he plopped down on the couch next to me and returned his arm to the back of the couch. This time though, his hand held onto my shoulder and pulled me closer. We sat that way for a while before I felt my eyes begin to droop closed. I knew I should get up and return to my own home, in my own bed. Possibly even call _my boyfriend_ and tell him just how much I love and adore him. So maybe it would be to squash some of my own guilt for my almost kiss with Morelli.

Instead I let my head sink into Joe's chest as he pulled a blanket over our laps. We finished watching the end of the basketball game and I sat up to get myself to go home. _Home_—I don't remember the last time that place has actually been home to me. My own home was taken from me and now the only home I knew was being in the arms of someone I knew. This was usually Ranger, but he was gone and I knew the silence in my own home would be deafening.

Before I knew it, I found myself asking Joe for yet another favor. "Would it be wrong if I asked if I could stay the night? It's just; being home alone I don't get any sleep. I suppose maybe I would this time since I'm really tired." Joe smiled at me and pulled me in for a hug.

"You're welcome to stay the night. To be honest, I'd feel much safer with you here under my roof than alone with Ranger out of town."

"Really?"

"Of course, I can't protect you when you're far away from me." Warm fuzzies spread through my belly at his words of sincerity. "You're welcome to sleep in my bed with Aly and Bob."

"Do they always sleep in your bed?" Morelli nodded as he threw back the rest of his beer.

"Since her little incident the two of them commandeered my bed. Not that I mind, the one night she did stay over in her own bed I got no sleep that night."

"Why, did she keep coming in to wake you up?"

"Worse, I couldn't sleep for more than two minutes without running into her room to check on her."

I couldn't help but smile. "You're a great dad, Morelli." His face lit up as he smiled back. I knew Joe didn't hold the beginning years of her life against me anymore, but I still did. There was no reason for me to keep the two of them apart, and since Joe has done nothing more but prove just how amazing he was in this role.

I turned in his arms and gave him a hug that took the both of us by surprise. Sometimes it was still hard to wrap my mind around my life. Not only was I a mother but I was no longer the little girl holding onto my crush of Joseph Morelli. This man stole my heart from the first moment I saw him many years ago. And I chose to believe it was for that reason we went from the hug to my lips against his.

The moment took me by surprise, even more because it had been me that initiated it. For a moment Joe remained still but as my hands moved to his unruly hair, he let himself melt into me. The taste of his lips had me craving more; Joe's hands moved over my back holding me close. Our mouths opened, our tongues met and next I knew I was on my back under Joe's weight. But before I knew it he had pulled himself off of me, leaving me breathless and confused at what had just happened.

Morelli stood away from the couch and paced with his hands on his hips. It was taking every ounce of control he had to not allow this moment to go further. In the pits of my stomach I wanted to believe I would have stopped it before it got there, but I was glad I didn't have to find out.

"That fucker had no problem taking you while you were my girlfriend. He felt no remorse and was able to through you over his bed in more ways than I even want to think about. So why can't I do the same? Why can't I let go of my guilt and give in to the thing I want most in this world?" Joe hadn't been talking to anyone in particular but I sat up, and bit my lip as I watched. The guilt of what I was about to do was overwhelming and a few solo tears streaked down my face.

"I know why." He muttered out as he turned to me. "Because I'm still in love with you, Stephanie. Because I won't be satisfied with a few moments of pleasure, the only way I would want this again is if you were mine. Mine until the end of time, but you've made your choice, and it wasn't me."

I jumped from the couch as I heard Joe's voice catch with the pain crashing into him. My arms linked around his shoulders as I buried my face into his chest again.

"Oh, Joe. I am so sorry, I can't believe I'm doing this to you all over again. I can't hurt you, not again, not ever." He held onto me and breathed deeply into my hair.

"I just can't do this anymore. You're not mine, Stephanie, and as much as it kills me I need to respect your decision."

I wasn't sure what had come over me but this wasn't right. With Ranger out of the picture I was able to give myself to Joe completely. Joe loved me and I know I loved him too. But Ranger would never be out of the picture. It was destiny that brought us together and Joe was right—I made my decision. This wasn't right to do to either of the men I knew in my heart I loved.

Holding back the tears I pulled away. "I should go." Morelli shook his head and grabbed hold of my arms.

"I meant what I said earlier, Steph. I can't protect you if you're not near me and I want you safe. Go on up and sleep next to our baby—I'll just crash on the couch."

I nodded and turned to walk away, but Joe pulled me back to him. His lips placed another kiss on my lips, no tongue, no seeking a way for more.

When he released me he shrugged as a solitary tear stained his face. "I just needed one more to hold onto."

I wanted to stay and wrap myself into him. Next to Joe was the only place I wanted to be right now but I couldn't do this anymore. So I turned and ran up to his room and crawled into his Queen sized bed. My silent sobs gently rocked me to sleep while I held Aly tight in my arms.

-o0o0o-0o0o-o0o0-

Sun steamed in and landed directly on my eyes this next morning. I slowly peered into Morelli's room as I forgot for a moment where I was. Aly and Bob were still sound asleep; carefully, so not to wake them, I sat up. This was the first time I noticed Morelli standing at the entrance of the room leaning on the doorjamb, a smile on his face and coffee in his hand.

"What are you doing?" I whispered, getting out of the bed.

Joe shrugged casually but I saw the tightness around his eyes. "Just letting myself see what it'd be like if this was how I woke up every morning. Both my girls and my big stinky dog in my room." My heart sank at his words as I reached him.

"Joe." I whispered out softly; he smiled and handed me the coffee cup, walking from the room. After taking a sip I followed. In the kitchen Joe poured himself another cup as he stuck two pieces of bread in the toaster.

"You know, you should go on some dates or something. Find yourself some amazing woman that can make you happy."

The toast popped up and Joe began spreading creamy peanut butter onto them. With a shrug he answered me.

"When I meet the right woman, I'll ask her on a date."

"She doesn't have to be the right woman, Joe. Why not just go on a date for fun?" Morelli handed me my piece on a paper towel and leaned his elbows on the counter moving close to me.

"Stephanie, I know what it's like to be in love with someone. I've seen what it feels like to be with someone I want a future with. So until I meet a woman that makes me feel anything close to the way I've felt about you—I'm good with just being alone."

"Someday you'll find her Joe, and you're going to forget all about me."

"Promise?" He asked with a smile, to lighten the mood. So I pasted on my best smile back and nodded.

"I promise."

_At least I hope—_no one I know deserves happiness more than this man in front of me.


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: JE's Characters—My Version**

**Author's Note:** I want every one of you to know how much I cherish you! I love that you take the time to read what I write even if you don't review. And if you do review—I love those as well. I adore every message I receive and it's great to see so much interest. One thing I do need to be honest about as a writer sometimes the characters take themselves in an unanticipated direction. I hope you bear with me and still enjoy everything I have to write!

And don't forget to always show those you love how much they truly mean to you. Life is far too short to waste a minute of it!

Enjoy!

Also Congratulations to Becky for her performance in Jack and the Beanstalk tonight! Wish I could have been there! =D

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Chapter Eleven

After finishing my piece of peanut butter toast at Morelli's house I decided to head out. Joe still had plans with Aly today and I needed to leave his house before I got myself into any more trouble. My car had only just left Joe's driveway when my phone rang with a call from Ranger. Beads of sweat began to form on my forehead and my mouth went dry. Trackers were placed in everything I owned; there was no doubt Ranger knew I had been with Joe—all night. Maybe he wasn't back in time to find out I stayed the night. Surely the trackers couldn't tell I had kissed him either, but that didn't mean Ranger's instincts didn't already tell him.

"Hello?" I answered finally.

"Babe, I'm back."

_Tell him Steph—don't hide this from him_. "I missed you." Mental head slap. Bock bock bocccck—sheesh was I a chicken, or what?

"Can you come by Haywood please?"

"On my way." I said with a smile in my voice. Ranger disconnected and I did a mental sign of the cross as I drove toward Haywood.

My knee bounced, my palms were sweaty and I couldn't keep still. Before Ranger left I was nothing but an emotional blob posted up in my watchdog seat. Now I was anxious, nervous, and not to mention—felt guilty as hell. How could I be so foolish with my heart and actions around Morelli? The kiss meant nothing—absolutely nothing.

Right?

I mean the fire and explosive feeling that ignited the moment our lips met was nothing. That was normal and well—yes! I got it—static electricity! There was so much of it in the house and that was all it was between us. It wasn't possible for there still to be any sparks between us. What we had was in the past, and now I was another man's woman. I was Ranger's; I chose him.

So why did my heart ache at the thought of leaving Morelli this morning?

There wasn't time anymore to stew about the foolish situations I get myself into as I pulled my car into the underground lot. In the elevator I tried to regain my composure as I pressed 7. After a finger wave to the boys behind the screen I exited and walked into Ranger's penthouse.

My man in black sat behind the counter on a bar stool with the paper opened in front of him. His eyes shifted up towards me. Folding up the paper he walked in my direction. _Don't tell him, Steph. Don't say a thing_.

"Everything alright?" Ranger asked as the distance between us closed.

"Yeah—super." A tiny movement of muscles told me he didn't buy it. This was the first time in days I had given him an answer that couldn't have been mistaken as a grumble.

Ranger's hands took my shoulders and held me to him as his lips lowered to mine. The guilt rose up before we kissed and word vomit took over.

"I kissed Morelli." Actually it was said in a single breath so it sound more like, _"IkisseMorelli." _ Ranger got it though no matter how jumbled the words were. He stopped mid-air; his eyes darkened to the defensive, borderline-scary Ranger I knew when we were about to do a take down.

"What?" He growled.

"It didn't mean anything, it just happened."

The knuckles of his fingers turned white at how tightly his fists were clenched now at his side. I remained quiet as I let him process the information I shoved at him.

"I'm going to kill him." Was the first thing he said when he found the words to speak once more.

"You're not." The look in Ranger's eyes said, _watch me_, but I continued to shake my head. "I told you the truth. _I kissed him_. It just happened."

"Yeah, you've said that." Ranger stalked away from me. My feet were planted on the ground unable to go after him or flee all together. Terror shot through me as Ranger whipped around to face me, the fire undeniable in his eyes.

"Shit like that doesn't _just happen_, Stephanie. You went over there. You stayed the night. _You kissed him_. All of those are choices of free will."

"I'm so sorry—it was wrong, I was just—lonely."

"_LONELY!_" It had been a long time since I heard out-of-control Ranger and I forgot how terrifying it could be. "I've been going crazy over here trying to give you space even though all I want is to be near you. There is hell going on around us and I would love the chance to feel like I can actually protect my woman. Except, the second I leave you go run into another man's arms!"

"It's not like that! Joe isn't just some other man; he is Aly's dad and has known me my whole life. Everything just hit me all at once and I made a stupid mistake." The words tasted like bitter coming out—why? The kiss was a mistake, so why did it hurt to say?

"Are you in love with him, Stephanie?" The question was like a fist to the gut. Words and air escaped me.

"Why do you even have to ask me that? I could have hid it from you, never shared my secret. I'm not trying to hide things from you, Ranger."

"That didn't answer my question." I walked over to him and held his face between my hands.

"I care about him and I always will. But I love you, and I'm sorry—I'm just so lost right now." Ranger wrapped his arms around me while I buried my face in his chest. The issue was defused for the moment but I knew this wasn't the end of it. He accepted my pitiful excuse with a grain of salt probably wondering the same thing I was. If I didn't love Joe anymore—why couldn't I just admit it?

O0o0o0o0o0o0o0

The sun reflected in through my windshield as I turned onto my street. After mumbling a few more ridiculous excuses I told Ranger I needed to go home for a while. He didn't try to stop me which only told me just how hurt and confused he was. This wasn't fair for me to put extra stress on him at a time like this. Things were difficult for me but I was under no illusions that they weren't just as—if not more—difficult for him.

Ranger was about control in his life. There were very few times he wasn't in control of a situation. And it seems since meeting me—all moments of an out-of-control life all involved me. Except one—the moment he lost Desiree. To make matters worse in this time in his life he was being forced to relive the moments that left him heartbroken. I needed to give him space—but I needed it as well.

Getting out of my home did help with my ultimately defeated feelings but not to calm my mind of the trouble that awaited me.

Desiree was nowhere to be found when I went inside. Not that I spent the time to find her. Instead I dragged my feet up to my bed, deciding a nap was a much needed thing right now.

My eyes peered open and sitting on the end of my bed was Desiree. An expression I couldn't recognize hung across her face. My body felt groggy but I still managed to sit up and look at my clock—3pm.

"Bout time you woke up." There was stress in her voice, but I was far too out of it to read more into it.

"What's wrong?"

"You have mail." Desiree's tone was serious. A simple mail announcement wouldn't have set off any red flags in my mind. That is—_if_ this wasn't the first time she alerted me. Something was off about this situation. Jumping from my bed I ran down the steps and flung open my door. Reaching my hand into the box directly outside my door I pulled the stack of mail in.

Bills. Junk. Catalog. Nothing special…. Wait… what's this? My fingers fumbled along the outside of a small brown envelope. There was no writing on the outside. Someone had to hand deliver this; no post office would have dropped it off with all the letter requirements. Desiree appeared at my side, the stoic expression told me this letter was something I was searching for. The other letters dropped to the floor and I didn't bother picking them up. To say my mind was preoccupied would be the understatement of the year.

Desiree followed to the living room couch. With my legs curled up under me shaky hands opened the seal. A few newspaper clippings fell into my lap along with a note. The writing was scribbled but I could still make out the words:

_If only he knew by destroying all information from that night, he is also the reason my identity has remained a secret. Lucky for you, I'm done with playing games. It's time to end things. You have been watching and waiting for me. Well tonight's your night; come to the address at the back of the letter this evening—alone. Then I shall answer your questions and put you out of your misery. _

_If you don't choose not to come, don't worry—it will all be over soon anyways. _

Desiree watched my face change from fear to downright terror to acceptance. This was what I needed. A face-off with the guy that has slowly taken my life from me. I was going to fight but I needed to go. It was time to make this nightmare go away… permanently. My attention returned back to the newspaper clippings.

A few had pictures of the house; some contained a shot of Desiree from when she was still alive. There was another article that caught my attention. The picture was taken from the night of the tragedy with the house in the background and a shot of a distraught looking Ranger. One hand at his side, the other in his hair, pain laced through every inch of his body and eyes. My eyes slowly raised up to see Desiree's expression as she saw the image before her.

If I had never before known the way she felt about him—I would know now. There was a deep pain that radiated off her and a protectiveness in her eyes. Ranger rarely showed emotion but in this picture you see more emotion than all the years I've known him. Her hand moved to cover her mouth. We both stared at this man we loved. The same person but different to us both. Ranger was to Desiree what Joe was to me…. _Is_ to me.

This time when I turned my attention to the photo something caught my attention. A face in the background amongst many other neighbors. There was something about the man's face that was familiar, but I wasn't sure why. It made no sense to why this man would look familiar. Maybe when Ranger and I were visiting the neighborhood I saw someone and didn't realize it.

I laid the paper back down and stood to process my next move. Except I made only a few steps before it hit me—that man. I snatched the article up again and looked at that face.

The face from my nightmares.

He was there that night; all along the answer to the biggest secret of Ranger's life was right here.

"_He is also the reason my identity has remained a secret."_

Of course! Ranger had all the articles destroyed! To protect her but instead protected this man too. Desiree stood next to me as she too saw what I was looking at. My eyes scanned the article and a name jumped out at me.

**"This is a tragedy of epic proportions. A young couple in love torn apart by some monster. Justice will be found." Neighbor and friend Arthur Leming tells reporters.**

Arthur Leming. "That's him, isn't it?" I knew Desiree couldn't answer me if it helped solve the mystery, at least that's what I thought.

"Yes." My eyes shot to her and it was as much a surprise to her.

"What'd you say?"

"Yes, that's him."

"How can you…?" She shook her head, not understanding the rules either.

"The hold on me I can't feel it anymore. It's like since you figured it out, it's no secret anymore."

"Tell me about him—who is Arthur, Des?"

Desiree acted tough on a daily basis but I could see now just how terrified she was at seeing him again. The small picture of his face, the mention of his name and the disgusting comment he made. How dare he say anything about this loss when _he_ is the monster that tore them apart. She took a seat on the couch so I did the same.

"I knew Arthur since I was a child; he was one of the kids that all the other's made fun of. I befriended him and together we grew up still friends. To him I was always much more than just a friend but I felt differently. His feelings were always so intense I didn't know what to do. I never wanted to hurt him, but I didn't love him. So when I was 15 I met Ranger, we started off as just friends but we both fell hard and fast. We started spending every day together then every night; it wasn't long before we were officially together. Well needless to say, Arthur was pissed off. He never liked Ranger and thought I could do so much better. Over the years I never told Ranger about Arthur; I'm sure you know how protective Ranger is over people, he would have totally lost his shit.

"So anyways, one night I made the biggest mistake. Ranger and I had just broke up and it was terrible. I was mad at him and wanted him back but I didn't want to give in that easily, so I went to Arthur's place and we got drunk. That night he took advantage of me and I woke up that next morning upset about what happened. Arthur apologized profusely and kept telling me I wanted it last night or else he never would have done it. Well I didn't want to hurt him because I was really the only friend he had. I went home and basically locked myself in my room for a week straight. Didn't talk to my parents, friends, or anyone else for that matter. I was so mad at Arthur and felt so violated, which only made me more pissed off at Ranger for not being there to protect me.

"One night though Ranger snuck in through my window because I wasn't answering his calls. It wasn't until I saw him there that I realized how much I needed him. He thought I was only hurt because we broke up. I knew if I told him about what Arthur did, he would have killed him. Looking back I suppose that wouldn't have been so bad, but you can't change the past. Anyways, we were crazy in love again. Arthur was pissed but didn't dare come near me when I was with Ranger, which I always was. When we broke up and he eventually met Rachel—that's when things got bad.

"Arthur kept trying to start a relationship with me but I said no. It didn't matter that Ranger left, he was still the only one I wanted. Then Ranger told me Rachel was pregnant."

She paused for a minute to smile, but I could see the pain for him behind that smile.

"It's funny I told myself if I ever saw him again I'd do everything to make him mine again. I'd throw myself at him and not let go. I'd beg for hours, weeks, years—he had to be mine. But when I found out about that sweet child with half his genes all I could do was tell him to do right by them. He wasn't mine anymore and I needed to respect his new family. To say I was depressed watching him leave would make it sound easy. It was like all the air had been knocked out of my lungs. I didn't eat for weeks, I couldn't sleep. I just sat there watching out my window for him.

"One day I received a letter from him telling me they were going to get married. Then he included information about a house he bought for me. Ranger told me in that letter that he would do right by his family, and that included me. He wanted me safe and to know I was taken care of and happy. After moving into the most beautiful house I'd ever seen I took a picture of myself smiling. I wanted to do everything to convince him I was okay. So I sent the picture and a letter just saying thank you. One day I saw the wedding announcement and hated how beautiful she was, but I definitely noticed my love wasn't smiling in that picture.

"I was lonely and so mad that I wasn't enough for him. It's not easily realizing the person you're living for is living with another. Arthur was just there—always there. He kept trying to talk to me and one day I gave in. We dated for a month or so and he took over my nice house. Moved in his shit, treated me worse—like I was this slave. He couldn't touch my skin without my body reacting with a creepy feeling. I told myself it was better than being alone, but it wasn't. Arthur and I got in a fight so I cleared all his shit out of my place and told him I needed a night to myself. Well it was _that_ night that Ranger returned to tell me he couldn't live without me.

"That night he stayed with me and I realized how scary Arthur was. Things seemed okay at first but when Arthur found out Ranger was back, and that he was the reason for our break up—he lost it. Ranger left the house one night just to go work out and that was when Arthur showed up. He chased me through the house and when I saw his eyes I knew there was no reasoning with him. His once green eyes had turned black with rage and I knew right then and there that my life was over. Arthur drug the pain out so I felt just how hurt he was. I took my last breath in our bedroom and he promised me that Ranger would pay for taking me away.

"That was the last memory I had from my human life. But not even that moment of absolute terror could take away how much I hurt when I saw Ranger and how it killed him. Arthur did what he did to hurt Ranger, I was just the only way to get to him. That's why Ranger never knew who he was though, because I never told him."

Desiree stopped, hunching over and pulling her knees into her chest. It wasn't until the story was over that I realized my face was stained with tears as more spilled out. Without thinking my arms reached out for her. Unlike the times before, I didn't go through her body. I was able to hold her the same way I could if she was a friend of mine—which is exactly what she had become.

Her shoulders heaved in deep sobs as I balled right along with her. A few minutes passed before either of us said anything. Desiree backed away and used her thumb to remove the tears from my cheeks.

"You need to stop this Stephanie. Arthur is never going to stop trying to hurt Ranger. You need to be the one to finish this."

My head nodded in agreement—I knew exactly what she meant, and I had every intention to follow through.

"You know—if everything's changed now and I can touch you, hear your story… maybe other things have changed."

Des raised an eyebrow at me. "Like?"

"Maybe you're not stuck here anymore." She knew exactly what I meant and I hoped before her time on the planet was up she could settle her unfinished business.

Before leaving I pocketed the note and articles Arthur left me to find him later. I also scribbled down a note telling all I left behind how much I loved them—incase the plan went astray.

"Good luck, Stephanie. Don't stop fighting until it's over." Desiree said to me as my hand was on the door to leave.

I nodded to her, "I hope you find peace, Des." She smiled to me and with that I left. Desiree was freed from the hold in my home and I knew just where she was going next. Without realizing it, Desiree was a key to me getting away without being detected. My plan was to drive to Tasty Pastry and hail a cab to get closer to the address where I was going to meet my fate. It was time to put this chapter of our lives to rest, and I was the only one who could do it.

**0o0o0o0o0o0o**

**Ranger's POV**

There was work to be done—always. I needed to go talk to Stephanie and make things right once more. I needed to find this sicko, and continue managing the other accounts.

Despite all that there was only one thing I wanted to do right now.

Stretched out on my bed with my back resting against the headboard I held in my hand my favorite picture of Desiree. She smiled back at me in front of the house I bought for her—her pathetic attempt to show me she was okay. I never told her receiving this picture was what gave me the guts to walk away from Rachel. I could never tire of this smile and even after all these years I wanted nothing more than to see it, just once.

Desiree was the only woman I had ever wanted until I met Stephanie of course. But there was something so different about my love for Desiree. This was a feeling that kept me from letting her go even after so long.

My fingers reached out and touched the image of her. As the years dragged on I found myself forgetting the feel of her touch. The way a single look from her could light up my soul in a way all her own.

With Desiree I was alive.

The movement at the entrance to my room drew my attention away from my picture. My heart stopped. My eyes blinked to prove I was only dreaming. The picture fell from my hands as the smile of the woman standing in front of me was one that could only come from one woman. _My woman_. Desiree.

"Hiya Stranger." This couldn't be real. Stephanie told me Des was talking to her, but it was so much easier to pretend that I believed her. Now there was no denying it—Desiree stood in front of me with a soft angelic glow around her.

I stared at her with a loss for words. It was as if not a single day had passed since she was taken from me. Her outfit was the last I saw her in and her eyes still held mine the way they once did—she was staring into the eyes of the best person. Which I never felt was right for me—I wasn't nearly the amazing creature she was.

"You're here." The smile on her face spread wider as she slowly approached the bed.

"Ricky, you should know by now I would never leave you. I've always been here—you just couldn't see me."

"Why can I see you now?"

She shrugged but held eye contact as she crawled on the bed closing the distance between us.

"I'm not sure." Her hand reached out to touch my face. My eyes held on tight, afraid at any moment that she would disappear again. Even if this was merely an illusion—I wasn't going to miss a moment of it.

The moment I felt her touch a single tear fell for her, she pressed her lips to my cheek to brush it away. A shiver ran up my spine at the contact. My hands reached out framing her face to hold her closer.

"Oh Des." I whispered out. A single beautiful finger pressed against my lips as she shushed me. Every movement of her lips I followed—this was unreal.

"We don't have long, Ricky."

"I should have protected you."

"You did. You protected me from a broken heart and a life of loneliness. I can honestly say I died with the greatest gift of all—love. Your love."

"I miss you so much."

She smiled again, as if this conversation wasn't killing her the way it was me.

"I'll always be here with you. Just promise me you'll keep me in your heart."

"Always Des. You're always there."

I needed to feel her again. Feel the soft touch of her lips, the heat created between us, and to know this wasn't merely a part of my imagination. My hands cupped her face and pulled her close as my lips pressed hard to hers.

The moment swirled between us. Our lips together. Hands holding tight. Even after all these years the fire was still there. I could stay this way for the rest of time if only fate allowed it.

Too soon, Des released me and tears I couldn't reach slid down her cheeks.

"It's time to let me go, Ricky." I began to shook my head; her hands cupped my face between them. "Yes, it's time."

"Desiree, I love you so much." Her lips pressed against mine once more before she stood and moved towards the door.

"You were my first and only love—just know that."

"You can't leave me again." I was off the bed and across the room in half a heartbeat. My hands held onto her shoulders, unable to let her go.

"It's time. Besides, at least this time Stephanie will do what I never could."

"What's that?"

Desiree turned her head over her shoulder to see me. "Protect you." My hands dropped to my side as I watched her disappear in front of me.

What did that mean, protect me? A panic shot through my body. I fumbled for my phone and dialed Stephanie's number—straight to voicemail.

_Damnit! She's going after him!_

I threw on the essentials for whatever awaited me. Bulletproof vest, guns, knives, cuffs, spray. There'd be more in the car in case it was necessary. The first call I made was Tank.

"Find her!" I growled into the phone when he answered, then disconnected. Over the years Stephanie had come to mean as much to them as she did to me. With those two words I knew Tank would get all the others involved and together we would all find someone we loved.

I hopped in my car and dialed the call I most dreaded.

"Morelli." He answered on the fourth ring.

"Steph's not with you is she?"

"No why?"

"She's going after him." I could hear the panic in the silence. Losing Stephanie would change all of us and we needed to find her before that happened.

"I'm dropping Aly off at her parent's place—pick me up there." I disconnected and pointed the car in that direction. Typically I wouldn't think twice in adding Morelli into my plans—she was mine and I could save her. Except I knew the truth—she wasn't just mine and Morelli would die if I didn't include him on this.

Besides—it gave me a chance to find out more about this kiss that still had my blood boiling.

Morelli was waiting outside when I pulled up. He took off towards my car as my cell phone rang.

_Tank_.

"Speak."

"Her car's at the bakery. Kid here said he saw her get into a cab once she pulled up. Called the cab company figured out which cab was here and where it was headed."

"Got the address?"

"I do."

"Send it to me."

I disconnected and moments later my phone twirped with the address. Morelli watched me looking for an indication of what was going on. I flipped him my phone and nodded towards the GPS.

"Plug that address in. That's where she's headed."

The address was 30 miles away and by now Stephanie had to be approaching—time to break as many laws as humanly possible.

Nothing was said between us at first. I could see how tensed up Morelli was by the situation but he kept his cop face in place. We rode in silence as I sunk into the protective zone but questions surfaced before I could force them back down.

"Stephanie told me about the kiss." Morelli blew a frustrated breath out through his teeth.

"Don't start with this macho, 'don't touch my girl' bullshit. We stopped before it went anywhere."

"It shouldn't have started."

"I'm serious _Ranger_, don't say anything right now. So what—we kissed. Yes—I know she's with you but frankly I don't give a shit. You spent the entire time I was with her pushing the limit, so I recommend you drop this shit."

There was more I wanted to say but after a beat of silence I asked.

"You still love her, don't you?" I saw his eyes roll as he turned his head to face me; waiting for me to turn and meet his glance before responding.

"I will always love her." Was the answer he gave, making me wish I would have kept my mouth shut in the beginning.

**0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

**Stephanie's POV**

The cab dropped me off down the block from the little house I was destined to go. It looked run down and gave me the creeps in the middle of nowhere. When I stepped out of the cab he took off as fast as humanly possible—not that I could really blame him. Everything about this place screamed out—RUN. To me that wasn't an option, if I didn't go in, I was never going to escape it.

My heart thrummed against my chest with every step I drew closer to the house. A field of trees surrounded the house with a clearing directly in front of the house. There was a single light on above the door—_Right—_like that's making it look welcoming. I moved between the trees to get a better look on all sides of the house. Every window in this small house was boarded up so tight I couldn't see any lights on throughout the house.

I paused to see if there was an entrance I could find and not be detected. Take this S.O.B. by surprise. The only sounds I heard was my irregular breathing and pounding heartbeat. A twig snapped behind me; I whipped around and caught a glimpse of a face before something hard hit my head and knocked me out cold.

**0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o 0**

"Wakey, wakey—I'm becoming impatient dear." My eyelids struggled to open and my head was pounding. I felt my hands and feet tied together; rope was cutting into my skin. Tears streamed down from the pain before I realized all I felt.

The first thing I saw was that face. Arthur Leming. A sly Cheshire Cat grin spread from ear to ear and I saw just as Desiree had described, black eyes staring back at me.

"Wonderful, you're awake. I told my dear friend not to strike your head so hard, but I was worried he had." That was the first time I noticed someone standing in the corner decked head to toe in black with a black ski mask over his face. Something about him seemed familiar but I wasn't sure why.

"Why are you doing this?" Was my first question to this certifiable sicko.

"Hate is a powerful emotion. And I hate Ricardo Carlos Manoso. He swooped in and she forgot all about me."

"She didn't want you! Why didn't you find someone else!"

"She was _mine!_ He stole her from ME!" I saw his fists tighten at his side and his jaw clench.

"Desiree never loved you—you took her from Ranger!"

"NO!" He snarled; my eyes caught a glimpse of something silver and a slice across my arm followed by a shooting pain told me what it was. The warmth of my own blood quickly began to trickle down my arm. I bent my body over as best as possible to keep in the pain I felt. Arthur didn't deserve to see my pain.

"Why me!"

"You're the only other woman who has meant something to that _fool_." Drops of spit hit my face as he moved closer. "And I made a promise to destroy his life the way he destroyed mine. I made sure when he saw her for the last time that it was quite a sight. Now, I am under no illusion that he won't find you, but I can promise you girl, the image will never leave his mind."

Another slash of the knife sliced down my cheek and the side of my neck. The blood was no longer a slow trickle as my head became foggy.

"I've haunted your dreams, haven't I, Stephanie?"

I stared up at him through the pain and pounding headache in the dimly lit space. My body was screaming but I kept quiet.

"I've seen you sitting there—watching for me, waiting for me. You looked like a ghost." A glimmer of white snarling teeth appeared upon his face before he cut my thigh. Every time he waited for my scream of pain but he never received one. It was infuriating him, that much I could see. So each new cut of the blade I bit my lip until it bled, holding in all pain.

"Why don't you SCREAM for me, **damnit!**" His knuckles crashed against my face.

"Damn man, why don't you kill her already. You know Ranger's going to be here any minute and he'll kill me if he sees me here." My head snapped up to the voice in the corner.

"X?" Could it really be—Ranger's newest employee?

"Oh yes, I heard you two have met." Arthur said, as if introducing two old friends.

"But why?"

"Well, how else do you think I was able to get into your house that night? You have my security on you than the frickin president girl."

"Why do you hate Ranger that much?" I kept my attention on him. X pulled off the ski mask, confirming the identity.

"I don't hate Ranger—I hate you. I hate the way we all need to drop everything we're doing because you need help wiping your ass in the morning. Ranger's business is failing because of you. I'm here to help him!"

"I've been wiping my ass just fine for years." Arthur threw his head back; X didn't find the joke quite as amusing. He ran toward me, laid a strong punch against my face then shoved me against the hard cement floor. A shooting pain radiated through the arm I landed on—this time pulling a deep scream from my lungs. There was definitely a snap of a bone but I was in too much pain and had lost so much blood I couldn't get myself to move.

My eyes looked up to X. One instant he was standing there staring at me the next something pierced his chest and red blood spouted out and he dropped to his knees.

"What THE!" Arthur screamed. I turned my eyes to see where the shot came from as best I could. The first thing I saw was work boots I knew to be Joe's run into view.

"Stephanie." He breathed out. I strained my head to see his face but before I could respond a shot came from Arthur's gun and struck Joe in the chest—sending him down.

"JOE!" I screamed with every ounce of energy I had left; tears fell as I tried to pull against my binds to reach him. Joe wasn't moving but I kept screaming his name.

"SHUT UP YOU STUPID BITCH!" Arthur screamed, sending a bullet into my leg. Another shot was fired and this time it was Arthur that screamed.

"You have no idea how long I've waited for this moment." Ranger said, jumping in front of me before darkness consumed me.

**0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

_"Hold on, Stephanie. Hold on!" A soft voice called to me. I couldn't see anything but the voice felt warm and familiar. _

_"Don't let go! Fight for your life—fight for your family!"_

_"Desiree?" I answered in my mind._

_"I'm here, Steph. Hold on baby, you can't die like this." A light came into focus, next came Desiree's face. Her blonde hair blew around as if we were sitting in a wind tunnel. I felt her hands on my arm and face; eyes pleading with me to stay awake. Fight. Don't stop._

_"Don't leave me."_

_"I'm here for you. Breathe Stephanie, please—you have to breathe." _

_A soft glow in the distance called to me but Desiree pulled my face between her hands to look at her. "Listen to me, Stephanie Plum. They need you. Just hold on a little bit longer. Promise me!" Her soft voice was filled with hysterics that I couldn't deny._

_"I promise you." _

_"Stay with me. Stay awake. Hold on."_

**0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

Beeeeep…. Beeeep…. Beeep…. Beeep…

The annoying noises could only mean one thing—I was in the hospital. Before even opening my eyes I felt groggy and the weight of heavy medications keeping my sedated. Still, I fought against it to see where I was.

Sitting next to the bed in an armchair was Ranger. He was silent but stared at me as I struggled to wake up.

"Water." My dry mouth mumbled out. Ranger grabbed a cup next to the bed with a straw in it. After adjusting the bed so I could sit up more he held the glass of water for me.

"What happened?"

"I took care of things." Flashes of the horror came back to me.

"How long have I been out?"

Ranger shrugged his shoulders in the slightest way. "About 32 hours."

"That's not so bad." I tried smiling to lighten the mood.

"Not so bad? You're cut up, scarred and broken, babe. How is that not bad?"

"We're all still alive—the good guys at least." That's when it hit me! I knew two people that were dead; two that were surely alive. But there were 5 people there that night—Joe.

"Where's Joe? What happened to him? Is he okay?" The questions poured out faster than I could stop them.

"He's asleep in the next room. The bullet pierced some vital organs. He'll be in an arm sling for a while but will make a full recovery."

"Oh my—I have to see him." I tried to sit up and move myself out of the bed but Ranger put his hands on me to keep me against the bed.

"I'll take you to see him in a minute, but I want to talk to you first."

"It can't wait?" The last thing I wanted was to get into a couple's dispute moments after waking up in the hospital. Ranger gave his head the slightest shake.

"I'm going to Miami for a little while. It has to be now."

"Oh, okay. What is it?"

Ranger blew out a deep breath and pulled my hands between his. "You're not mine, Stephanie Plum. I think I've known it for a while but after having Desiree taking from me I couldn't bear to lose another. I love you, but I don't think I could ever be who you need."

"What are you…"

"You know who I'm talking about. Tell me the truth right here and now Stephanie. Are you in love with Joe Morelli?"

_Was I in love with Morelli_? More than Ranger? He's the first person I think about in the morning and the one I want next to me at night. A smile from him and my heart soars. His hands on me makes me skin tingle at the touch. My heart aches for him when we go too long without talking. He's the best dad to my little girl that I have ever before known. And the thought of him in love with any other woman kills me in a way I didn't know was possible.

If that wasn't love—than I don't know what is.

"Yes, I'm in love with him." Ranger nodded his stoic face in place.

"That's who you need to be with Stephanie."

I reached a hand out to hold his arm. "Ranger, I wanted to love you back. You've been there for me for years. You've done so much, it's just. It's just…."

"Not right."

I shook my head, more tears fell. Ranger leaned in and placed a kiss on my forehead.

"Be safe while I'm away. And this doesn't change anything; I'll still be there whenever you need anything."

I grabbed his hand and pressed my lips against his palm. "You deserve better than me."

Ranger gave me a courtesy smile as he lifted me in his arms. He walked me down to the next room where Joe lay unconscious and set me in the chair next to the bed.

"Please don't stay away too long, Ranger. Aly and I will miss you."

"I promise." With that he walked out the door.

Part of me wanted to follow him and express even more the way I hurt for him. But I could never be who he wanted. Hearing about the love Desiree and him shared, I knew it wasn't for us. There was no way I could ever fill her shoes in his heart and there was no way he could fill Joe's in mine.

My eyes moved from the door to the beautiful man lying on the bed in front of me. I grabbed his hand in mine and held it to my lips as the tears poured out.

"You need to wake up, Joe. I know they said you're going to be just fine but I need to see it. I need to know you're not going anywhere; that you're not going to leave me. But also so I can tell you that I'm not going anywhere either. That I can't leave you and that…" I choked on a sob and closed my eyes as more tears poured out. "And that I choose you, Joe. But I hope it's not too late for you to choose me, back."

The soft movements from the bed and rattles from the obnoxious hospital linens made my head shoot up. Joe stared back at me a smile stretched across his face.

"Hi Cupcake."

"You're okay."

Joe nodded. "I am so much better now."

"Did you hear what I said?" He nodded again as his smile became a smirk.

"And if you try and tell me you were just saying that to wake me up…" I didn't even let Joe finish his sentence before I left the chair and climbed next to him in his bed. My body was sore and achy but that didn't stop me. I needed to be next to him. My lips roamed his face; his eyelids, nose, ears, cheeks, finally reaching his lips. A felt a sharp spike in my heart rate as his lips moved with mine—this right here—this was my home. This was where I wanted to be, and where I belonged. How had I never seen it before? And now that I had—there was no way I could let it go now.

"I'm sorry it took so long to come back to you." I said against his lips. He moved my head down to place a kiss on my forehead.

"Cupcake, I'd wait forever as long as I knew you'd come back to me in the end." With his arms around me I sobbed into his chest, letting all the separation from the past few years fade away. This was the only place I wanted to be—wherever this man was.

"Joe…" I sat up to see his face better; he adjusted the hospital bed so he was sitting too. My fingers laced themselves with his good hand and I let myself get lost in those brown eyes I loved so much.

"What is it, Steph?" A flicker of fear crossed his face. Wondering I'm sure if I had already changed my mind.

"I've loved you since I was a little girl and I used to tell myself I was going to marry you. Then I grew up and still wanted the same things but let everything else get in the way and convinced myself that it wasn't you I wanted. But Joe it's you—it's always been you. Since the beginning my heart's been yours and I only hope until the end of time your heart could be mine. I love you more than I did the first moment I saw you and right now there is only one thing I want."

Joe's face held back his grin as he asked, "And what would that be?"

"To be your wife. Marry me, Morelli. Let me show you how much I love you. Let me prove I can be everything you want and I can be the woman you once loved."

"Are you proposing to me?" He asked with a raise of his eyebrow.

"I am."

"Stephanie Plum, you shouldn't have asked me that."

"What…. Why?" My mind became panicked. Have I already lost my chance? Was Morelli going to be forever out of reach? For the rest of our lives we'd share time with Aly and run into each other occasionally but he was going to move on and find another woman to make him happy. Another woman who knew what she had before it was too late.

"Because I was going to ask you to marry me." Tears streamed down my face but a grin spread through the tears.

"Are you being serious, Morelli? Because if you're not I'm totally going to punch your bad arm." He let out a soft laugh that touched my heart. With his good hand he stroked the side of my face.

"I've never been more serious about anything in my life. So Stephanie Michelle Plum—you're the most stubborn, frustrating, wild, amazing, sexy woman I have ever known. Will you marry me and make my life whole again?"

"I will." Our lips found each other and held on for dear life as I found myself happier than I've ever been in my life.

Morelli laid the bed back down and we curled up together. The male nurse came in to check on us and tried to make me return to my room, but Morelli certainly wasn't having that.

"Hey buddy, let me tell you this much. I'm a cop and if you take my fiancée away from me—I'll make your life hell." Needless to say we were left alone after that about our sleeping arrangements. The doctor checked us both over and supplied us with more drowsy meds that put us under once more.

With Joe's arms protectively wrapped around me I felt safe and had my first sleep nightmare free in as long as I could remember. With my future at my side.

**0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

**Ranger's POV**

Epilogue:

The Miami sun, scantily clad women and sea-salty air did nothing to brighten my mood. I lost the only two women I loved, both for different reasons.

With Stephanie I loved her as much as I could but hearing about the kiss told me I wasn't the one. Morelli loved her in a way I never could and I trusted he would be take care of them.

Desiree was another story completely. I let her go because I knew I had to—not because I wanted to. I used to say I would be fine if I got just one more day with her. That turned out to be the hardest thing I've ever experienced. Saying goodbye a second time was harder than expected.

That was another reason I knew it was time to say goodbye to Stephanie—she would never replace Desiree in my heart. And now I was beginning to wonder if anyone ever could.

The honk of a horn pulled me from the dark part of my thoughts.

On the streets of Miami it wasn't unusual to hear horns honking, but there was something else that caught my eye. I had to look twice, then once more to be sure. The woman on the other end of the honking car was Desiree. Her long flowing blonde hair, cute petite curvy figure I loved so much. My legs took off for her before I could process the movements.

I caught up to her and grabbed hold of her elbow. She whipped around to see me and the striking blue eyes I loved stared back at me.

"Desiree?"

"No, I'm sorry you have the wrong person." The woman didn't look to recognize me in the slightest—how could she not!

"I'm sorry—you don't know me?"

"No, I don't." My hand released her and she shrugged. "Sorry."

The woman turned to leave but I knew I couldn't just let her go. There was something about the familiarity of her face and eyes that told me she was different—and I had to get to know her.

**The End**

**Author's Note:** **I really hope you enjoy the ending of this crazy whirlwind of a story! I decided to make the last chapter long enough for it all since you wait so patiently for everything.**

**For starters—SORRY to all Babes out there. Sometimes the character's choose their own destiny and that's the way it was here.**

**Which brings me to the second thing—I know I said before that I won't be continuing the series—but if you want to know more about the Desiree look alike with Ranger and Joe and Steph's next step together please tell me that YOU WANT MORE! If not—I won't bother. SO you choose it! =D**

**Thank you again to everyone who has been following my story (this one and/or ALL) and thank you so much for reviewing! I love writing so much and to share that with all of you is one of my favorite things… ever! =D Please know how much I love and respect you all! A SPECIAL shout out to my wonderful JULIE! For listening to my crazy mind work through all I wanted the stories to be! You're amazing! **

**Anyways—Please please—pretty please review! Tell me what you thought and if you want more! **

**THANK YOU AGAIN!**

**-Meeeeee!**


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